Survivor-Tocantins

In a land very far far away, a warrior king once ruled his tribe. This king was named Coach. He liken himself to a dragon slayer, warrior king, wearing his hair in a top knot like ancient Asian sumo wrestler, ancient dragon slayer. He spoke the language of great warrior kings. He spoke of strength and power. He mediated and performed ancient warrior Tai Chi, mastering his own internal Chi and spewing his philosophy for anyone who would listen. Those he chose were hand picked to be in the army of the warrior king. Those that were not favor by the warrior king, lived in fear and isolation. This warrior king had an second in command, Tyson. Although Tyson was his commander, Tyson was really the strength of the warrior king's army, winning challenge after challenge. The warrior king created a cult of worshippers willing to follow the warrior king's prophecy of the creation of the strong and like mindedness. But not all was well in the cult. There emerged a boy, JT, who was strong and had a secret knowledge. He knew he had to bring down the warrior king before the king would take over the entire kingdom and win the greatest prize of all, the title of warrior king of the universe and then no one would be free from his grandiose boasting ever again. The warrior king already slayed one dragon, his fiercest opponent Brendan, and with Tyson, his winner of challenges, time had come to bring down the warrior king by cutting off his most valuable possession, his right arm, Tyson. So, JT, the would be David, slaying Goliath, hatched a plan to cut the arm off the king. With perfect and unexpected precision, the arm was sliced and removed much to the king's surprise. The question remains, can the boy, JT wear the crown and be king?-Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-Rightguard

I know it's just a game, but I can't stand Annie. Haven't I said this before? What I'm wondering is why didn't Melissa volunteer to be the PM for this next challenge after the Donald moved Jesse over to Athena. Instead Brandi volunteers for Kotu with Clint for Athena. This challenge is to create a 4 page spread for RightGuard deodorant centering around David Lee of the Knicks. I guess he must be a right guard? This weeks guest judge is loud mouth Jim Cramer, sell, sell, sell! Once again poor little homely girl Melissa is left out of the hip girl's group. It was just too painful to watch and typical of the dynamics of girls everywhere, the pretty girl, the bossy girl and the homely girl. As I've always told my daughter when she wants to invite 2 of her girls over for a sleep over, if they are not all best friends, then there will always be a 2 against 1 balance and someone will always feel left out. Clint has soften his bossy side, a little, but still is getting on Jesse's goat. Here I think the dynamic is the two alpha males want dominance with Joan trying to play peacemaker. I thought both ads were awful, but in the end, Clint's choice of color was what won it for them, by a hair according to Jesse. At least Jesse manned up that theirs was better no matter how much he hated their ad. I knew which one Trump was going to choose in the end, between Melissa, Brandi or Annie. He couldn't get rid of Annie, she's the villianess we love to hate. Trump's lust and affection ruled by his pants got the better of him in this boardroom. He came short of saying, Melissa you know beauty always wins over homely, which totally sucked. Instead he blamed Melissa's lack of fund raising. Aw come on, just admit it Trump, you would rather gaze at the flaxen haired beauty of Brandi than Melissa's botox forehead anyday. Mother Joan was raging when Melissa was fired. She spits out scorn to Annie Duke, saying with such disgust, "You're just a poker player, a pokaa playeer!" like Annie isn't worth the dirt on Joan's high heels and left with her daughter. Melissa left bitter and scorned like I'm sure it was not the first time in her life. At least she could have bowed out graciously and not let the mean girls win this one. Well once again, reality TV at it's finest! -Single D

Amazing Race-Chinese Torture

The 9th pit stop in China, Kisha and Jen are the first to leave at 1:48 pm, heading for Beijing. Tammi and Victor-1:48

Margie and Luke- 1:50

Jamie and Cara- 2:12

Tammi and Victor's bragging about their edge in knowing Chinese has yet to help them get ahead in their own country. They speak in Chinese to the ticket agents in the airport and tell them to put them up front and the rest in the back of the plane. Our parents would be so proud! Out first are Victor and Tammi, go figure, heading for their cab, but funny that, it is Jamie and Cara first at the roadblock, to get a foot massage. Cara tells us that she doesn't like people to touch her feet, but I'm thinking she's like, wow, finally a spa treatment, but it's more like spa torture. It's an ancient Chinese pressure foot massage which looked more like ancient Chinese torture. I was laughing out loud through the whole segment. My husband doesn't get it when I laugh out loud and there's no one else in the room. I can't help it. Laughing is like sneezing to me, you just have to let it out! Cara is writhing in pain, towel between her teeth. Next to arrive, Kisha and Jen. Kisha immediately says she wants to do it but then has second thoughts when she sees Cara in agony. Both looked hysterical with towels and hats between their teeth and screams of owwww! Tammi takes the pain in stoic Chinese style, although I thought her breathing looked more like she was doing Lamaze and birthing a baby. Come on Tammi just let that scream out! Luke ends up doing it, how does a hearing impaired scream? Jamie kept telling Cara you better not scream uncle which meant that she would have to do it all over. Who would want another 10 minutes of torture? Next it's on to a Natatorium which Jen correctly thought mean an aquatic gym. Here the detour is, Sync or Swim. Teams have to high dive in sync or swim 400 meters in a pool. Tammi and Victor are thinking the dive has got to be easy right? Wrong! I guess it does sound easy, but not so easy to sync. Kisha and Jen are having breakdowns since Jen doesn't know how to swim. Mom and son team are both experienced swimmers, but can't stand the Olympic style swimsuits that made them look like big eels.

First Kisha and Jen try the swim, hey we get to wear floaties, but then Jen has second thoughts, then they try to dive, but hey, if Tammi and Victor can't sync one dive what makes them think they can? They try to dive several times, and Tammi and Victor after what seemed like 30 dives decide to do the swim. Jamie and Cara are the first to finish and are praying that they will be the first to step on the mat and finally claim one first place finish. I was kinda hoping they would win their first, but Phil's like "Jamie and Cara, you're to first to arrive but you need to keep racing". Ah man! And I was so hoping that Kisha and Jen would be knock out this round. Looks like all teams get part two of this challenge. Right now, it's any body's game. -Single D

Amazing Race-Run A Fowl in China

Teams leave Bangkok Thailand-first out Margie and Luke at 9:36am, heading for Guilan, China through Guangzhou. I yell to my daughter, they're going to Guangzhou, China! Not that she would know that from Kalamazoo MI, but that was our last stop in the process of adopting her from China. I was hoping we'd get a glimpse of the city or at least the White Swan Hotel. Midget stunt guys, Mark and Michael haven't a chance to catch up with their four hour penalty from their last leg. Ouch! That's pretty stiff and I think so unfair. Tammi and Victor are in ethnic heaven, what with being Chinese and all. They think they have an advantage over the other teams being able to speak the language. Victor take a breath please! He just bugs me. The rush to the first clue box, Jen bumps Luke and Luke swats her like the pesky fly that she is. Jen and Luke get in a bi!ch fight where Luke signs the word. My daughter is like, gee now I know how to say that word in sign! Madison go to your room right NOW! The road block is the fishing cormorants. I saw this on the travel channel and was either slightly appalled or slightly awed. I couldn't decide. Poor birds all they want to do is eat the damn fish! Luke gets bit by the bird and acts like a girl. Tammi and Victor's birds must not have understood Chinese as they were the worst of the bunch.

Mark and Michael perform their speed bump, to wash two old Chinese ladies hair. They pile on the shampoo without even wetting the hair first. Mark is even giving his lady the massage treatment.

The detour is either choreography or calligraphy. I thought the calligraphy would be harder and everyone except Jamie and Cara do the dance routine, they are after all cheerleaders. They learn the dance but are frustrated that they are denied each time. What are we doing wrong Jamie whines! Finally after the 20th time, they realized that they had to do the routine twice. All the other teams meet at the calligraphy stations and mostly let Victor and Tammi lead the way since they know how to read Chinese characters, that was smart. With all teams finishing they race to the pit stop, where once again Luke and Jen get into a deaf-verbal shouting match. Margie really gets upset when Kisha starts to laugh like a 12 year old. By then I was getting mad at her too. I'd like to sign the B word to her too!

Of course we knew the midgets would get eliminated, no suspense there. Well, at least they made it this far. As for the race, well it's any one's game!-Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-Dueling Divas

Let me just get this off my chest. I can't stand Annie Duke. Three words for her, cutthroat, cutthroat, cutthroat! Is Annie's middle name, Sybil? In the boardroom she's all sugar and sweetness, but in the real world she's just plain wicked mean. And OMG what an ego. What was it that Joan said, "Annie you're not that smart, your ego is so beyond where you are." Wow, couldn't have said it better myself.

As you know Piers Morgan was called in to sort of referee the game playing between Annie and Joan. Piers comes in and tells Kotu bottom line, it's all about the $, so Melissa gets on the phone and starts calling. When Annie finds out that Natalie was trying to find a rival bidder against Annie, Annie went ballistic to put it mildly. When she went off on her friend about giving some names to Natalie, yelling and screaming one minute and then being all sweetness and honey the next, I just wanted to retch! That woman's head spins faster than Linda Blair in the Exorcist! And of course, Annie was the auctioneer for the jewelry show. That was a good choice, since Annie can strong arm people to reach deep in their pockets for the money. even though it looked like they really didn't want to. She looked like she was promising some of her high bidders a little action later by getting down on her knees. It's not about charity for Annie, it's just about winning. Guess that's why she's a good poker player.

When Joan's team went up for the auction, all I could think of was why wasn't Joan the auctioneer? Clint has about as much charisma as my big toe. Joan finally wised up and went out front to help get the auction going. Looked like the audience was filled with store bought dummies. Poor Ivanka, I did feel bad that no one was bidding on her jewelry, probably because they couldn't see it, or possibly because Clint had no idea what he was auctioning off. No Clint it's not earrings, it's a ring you fool!

In the end, no surprise, Annie's team won by a landslide. Donald did have to fault Joan for not buying the jewelry, told you, and for not emceeing which she does well, which by any episode would have gotten any PM fired. But Joan's just too good for TV to fire. I think it's Donald's plan to have, Joan, Melissa, Annie and Jesse as the final four with possibly a mother daughter run off or maybe a more shocking, Joan and Annie duel to the end. So the only choice for this firing is Natalie which the Donald lamely suggest that her choice of jewelry was the reason for their defeat, yeah but wasn't that Joan's fault for letting her pick the jewelry in the first place?

For the next challenge, it's come up with a creative frozen food dish for Swan's or is that Schwann's? Like the Schwanns in Barbara Streisand's Funny Girl? Jesse is finally a PM with Hershel as the PM for Kotu. On Kotu there isn't a cook among them. what celebrity does their own cooking? Hershel wants to do a chicken dish which Clint says his wife has a great soy chicken recipe which turns out too salty. Annie on the other side is making all the trial dishes and telling everyone how good she is. See how I cut that onion, look how I cook, see how wonderful I am, kiss, kiss! Annie wants the dish to be her turkey meatballs and gluten pasta (yuck, anything with the word gluten and I run screaming the other way!). In the end, what Annie wants, Annie gets. Jesse says the chili was the best and punctuates that with a fart. Sandra Bullock would be so proud! Jesse seems overwhelmed to be working with all the divas, so he keeps pretty much to himself and tries to keep the peace. The Schwann's reps liked the gluten pasta over the Asian chicken, boo! I hated that Annie won again! In the board room, Donald had little choice on who to fire. Certainly not Joan nor Clint, they make good TV drama. So it was mild manner Hershel sent walking out to the limo much to the tears of Joan. I hope Donald mixes up the teams next episode. For Joan and Annie, it's going to be the duel of the century, especially with Joan calling Annie a Hilter. I could think of other names for her, but Hitler suits her style of dictator leadership. -Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-LifeLock

This is the first time I have ever seen Donald Trump wear a patterned tie. He always wears monochromatic ties and Junior does the same. This segment is for the teams to create an advertisement board centered on Life Lock, you know the company that keeps your identity safe. Brian McKnight and Natalie are chosen as the PM's for this challenge. Natalie as it turns out seems to run things smoothly and calmly and isn't prone to hysterical outburst, but where's the drama or fun in that? Most of this week's episode was a yawner, with the only excitement being that Jesse got puking sick when he and Brandi were sent to the fabricators. Jesse is trying to get the board done while Brandi does what every blond airhead does in a machine shop, flirt with the guys. In the board room, it was Kotu that won the challenge with their funny banner that displayed their celebrity endorsements. Joan's idea of course. Joan is in hysterics because Annie is attempting to throw Melissa under the bus for Brandi and smashes her glass of champagne on the carpet. Typical celebrity fit throwing. Would you ever throw your glass down, not to mention waste good champagne? I would never throw a glass of champagne on my carpet. That would be a three hundred dollar carpet cleaner house call. Who can afford that? Joan anxiously awaits in the hall, but we all knew soft spoken Brian McKnight was exiting. As the Donald said, it seemed his game playing lost some of its punch and he really did want to leave the show. Everyone heads back to the apartment only to be called down to the boardroom for the Donald to announce that they were headed for another challenge. This one is a jewelry auction of Ivanka Trump's collection. Arch rivals, Annie and Joan are pitted against each other in this round. Annie crosses over the line to befriend Brandi much to the face twisting jealousy of Melissa. Melissa tries to tell Annie that she's really good at this challenge, because that's what she does (hello, same line from the previous 5 episodes), but Annie bestows that power on to the golden girl Brandi, because she knows all about beautiful women and you don't Melissa, so there! Poor Melissa, she looked like the homely girl picked last at the school yard pick. That's the way the balance of power sways. Go with whom has the most pull and it looks like Brandi is calling the shots on this one well until she gets into the department store, oh did I mention that she's going to be one of the models herself? Modesty at it's finest. Brandi forgets that it's a challenge, she's so mesmerized by all the beautiful gowns, now it's all about me right? At least Melissa got to pick the jewelry going up against Natalie for the best pieces. I'm sure Melissa has the edge on this one since her mother is a jewelry designer. Now why did Joan let Natalie pick out the jewelry? I know if Joan loses, the Donald will ask her that same question, since Joan designs and sells jewelry. And why did Joan let Clint and Hershel pick the models? Both guys looked like mischievous kids when the models came in. Ok guys close your mouths now!

Annie tells her team point blank that whoever brings in the least money will be on the chopping block. On the other side, poor Natalie is not good at asking her friends to belly up big bucks but comes up with a brilliant idea to find a donor (hey that sounds like some kind of transplant recipient) with deep pockets who is an enemy of Annie Duke to contribute big money against her. Wouldn't that be a tasty turn of events?

With Joan and Annie gunning for each other in this challenge, claws sharpened, the Donald sends in for ammunition and calls on Piers of the infamous Piers and Omorosa duel to oversee the cat fighting. Ah, let the scratching begin!-Single D

Amazing Race-Broken Record in Bangkok

9:27 pm-Tammi and Victor

12:31-Jamie and Cara

12:46-Michael and Mark

12:53-Margie and Luke

1:05-Kisha and Jen

All are on the same plane to Bangkok to race to a boat yard where they will find their next clue. Here they have to assemble and attach a propeller to their boat and hop in to find their next clue. Margie shows she has some muscle and does this challenge very quickly while Victor can't tell the difference between a wrench and a screwdriver. I guess that's why he's a lawyer and not a mechanic. Let's pause here, would you leave your stuff in the taxi and make him wait or take your stuff with you because you are after all getting into a boat and sailing off to your next challenge? Huh, huh, you tell me? Do you think you're going to come back?-isn't it likely that you will be proceeding on? Come on guys! Kisha and Jen are even so stupid as to leave their pack with their passports and cash on the dock. Hello! Michael and Mark bicker like a married couple on whether or not to go back and retrieve their packs from the cab with Michael telling Mark that he doesn't care about winning, it's just about his stuff, stuff that can be replaced once they win!

The detour was broken teeth or broken record. Didn't they do that teeth challenge before? Here Margie and Luke were the only ones to do the broken teeth, trying to fit dentures into the mouths of toothless Asians (I think some of them were my relatives!). Hey were those the personal dentures mixed in with other people's dentures? Ugh, or as my friend Jeff said, it is Asia after all. Yeah, not great on that hygiene thing there. Poor Luke, he was all mixed up on how the dentures were supposed to go. It was pretty frightening to see a bowl full of teeth. Hey Luke, there is a difference between lower and upper dentures. Thankfully his mother knew what she was doing.

All other teams chose to do the broken record thing. Mark and Michael are sounding like a broken record themselves with them fighting with each other like rabid squirrels. Mark finally gets the upper hand and tells Michael that they need to go back to the cab and get their stuff because he has irreplaceable in his backpack. They spend so much money traveling in cabs that they have to give away personal trinkets (I'm wondering if some of it was Mark's irreplaceables?) to the taxi drives for not having enough money.

For the singing cab rides, the teams were joined by the local Thai hookers or transvestites. Mark actually thought they were cute, oh hello they're men!

I thought Kisha and Jen's idea of finishing the detour and then go back to get their stuff was a brilliant idea, not! Jeff, that party pooper told them that they had to get their packs with their travel documents before he could check them in. I thought surely they are a goner, but M & M came racing in, packs in tow only to find out they incurred 2- two hour penalties for using their own personal items as payment for cab rides. OUCH! What dummies! I think they better bone up on the rules before they start their next leg which they will gratefully participate in since this was a non-elimination round for them. They will however, have a 3 hour delay at the start and will have to do the speed bump. Let's just say they haven't a chance in Thailand to catch up unless another team is dumb and dumber.-Single D

Anthony Bourdain & the Worst Meal Ever!

It was another Sunday when I caught Anthony Bourdain in Namibia. This should be good, anything in Africa promises to be an adventure in dining. Here Tony and the bushman are hunting for their breakfast. No quick stop to the local Starbucks or Mickey D's. Nope, it's dry as dust, what could they possibly be hunting for? Why ostrich eggs of course. Tony has a pang of sympathy (for their meager find) which probably should have lasted a lot longer so he could have come to his senses and bowed out of breakfast with the Bushman, leaving them to consume their precious find, but where's the adventure in that? The Bushman tell Tony that they are going to make breakfast right there on the spot. Humm, says Tony? Right here? Not a kettle or pot within 200 miles. Patience, wait for it. Apparently the Bushman are experts at the spontaneous. They quickly heat the ground with their coals. Carefully they make a hole at the top of the ostrich egg, poke a stick through it to scramble the contents. After the sand is sufficiently hot, they flatten the dirt out in a nice circle. Yikes, where's the fry pan I gasp! The Bushman dump the contents of the egg onto the dirt and then proceed to cover the eggs with more dirt and wood. Ugh! Tony is amazingly calm during all this dirt cooking. I would be retching in the bush. What seems like an interminable amount of time to cook for god sakes, it's just eggs Tony says, the Bushman uncover their meal, a baked dirt frittata. They pry pieces of the ash covered eggs, never you mind that it is covered in ash, dirt and whatever dung might be on the land and eat with relish. Tony however is trying to dust his piece off, what's a little grit among friends? Arguably possibly the worst meal I have ever seen on this show! But wait there's more. A warthog dinner is next to what Tony calls his worst meal ever. Tony goes hunting again, a lot of hunting on this episode, where he actually kills the poor creature. Here he gets to sample some of the more juicy parts of the warthog, namely the rectum and brains. When Tony says the tree beetles were the best thing he ate all day, you know it had to be bad. We don't get to see Tony ralph but I'm sure it was on his mind. And when Tony says it's bad, it's got to be bad. Move over Andrew Zimmern!-Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-Small & Mighty

This week is to create a viral video for All's Small and Might laundry detergent. Clint Black is the PM for Kotu's team, now let's see if Black can be a team player. Melissa is the PM for Athena. The teams are immediately mixed up with Donald moving Jesse James over to Athena and breaking up mother daughter team with Joan going over to Kotu. Can the umbilical cord be severed?

Annie comes up with the clever idea of using little people to bath Jesse James, to which Jesse is like no way. Clint comes up with the joke of the husband and wife couple doing the wash, which the husband says don't worry honey, I hand washed it myself. Ok good for a laugh but to center a viral video around that? When Kotu meets with the reps of All, Joan is firing off questions left and right, like can you use it to wash humans? Hey Joan, it's not a body wash! Both teams want to use midgets, why does small and might conjurer up midgets? While Kotu team is clearly disorganized, Athena still wants to go with the concept of midgets washing Jesse, which Jesse reluctantly agrees to for the sake of the team, what a team player. Apparently Melissa got the best midget actors in all of New York, because the midget that went to the Kotu casting call was totally inexperienced, maybe it was the whole lack of dialogue or lack of one. Kotu decides to ditch the midget idea and goes back to the bedroom which in the end brings them back into the boardroom. Hershel tries to save the whole bedroom fiasco by adding pop ups which I thought could be a funny idea. Clint rules his team like some kind of despot and Joan is seething. Joan comes up with a lot of good ideas, but Clint seems to throw them out like used tissues.

In the end, All's reps didn't like either team's video and both teams are brought back into the boardroom. Melissa rightly says that she should be the one fired for being PM but brings back Tionne who "volunteers" to support her and Brandi who reluctantly accompanies. Clint wisely brings back Chloe and Natalie. This next segment could be called shock and awe as the Donald once again proves that he is good TV. He says to Tionne if she remembers a former contestant Bradford who volunteered to come back into the boardroom. Uh no. Well, he was fired, because no one volunteers to come back into the board room, Tionne you're fired! Shock! As for Chloe, the Donald asks why she was gone last week, which she truthfully tells him that she was attending some DUI duties. The Donald completely rakes her over the coals for her DUI and tells all of America that he doesn't tolerate those with DUI's and like he fired Rodman for his alcoholism in the previous week, this week it's Chloe with her existing DUI problems. Chloe you're fired! Awe! Tell me again what she's famous for? In the limo, Chloe says she's been paying for that mistake ever since. Oh boo hoo, all I can say snaps for the Donald, even tho Clint in his macho mania should have been fired. How does Lisa Hartman ever put up with him? Clint you're not the man I thought you were!-Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-A Rodman Intervention

This week was not about the challenge, this week was an intervention, namely a Rodman intervention. What a pathetic excuse of a man. Sure Dennis, you may have been a great basketball star at one time, you may have cause people's heads to turn, you may have fans that adore you and you may have an "alleged" drinking problem. No Dennis, you do have a drinking problem and the way you handle any problem is to slam a few back and then escape the problem by leaving. Is that what you do in life? Leave? He gets all manic when he's drinking and then afterward he gets all angry.

This weeks challenge is to run a hotel under the name of Loews Regency. Each group will have 5 guest rooms which they will have to run like a real hotel right down to room service and maid service. Of course the women have this one in the bag, they are after all women. Who knows best about clean, pampering and "depubing" than women? The PM's for this are Tionne and Dennis Rodman. Whose Tionne again? It's do or die for Dennis. Question is can he remain sober long enough? The decoys, Stephen Baldwin and Vinnie Pastori are sent in as the emissary's of the demanding guest. Right off the bat Vinnie says in true Italian style, I want cannolis and cd's. All Stephen wanted was a room with a view to which Joan counters, you don't want a view, you want privacy. The ladies most demanding guests were the gay guys in room 720. Oh honey, nothing says demanding than a bunch of diva wannabes.

Dennis starts off good with a lot of good ideas, but the moment someone else voices their opinions, Dennis heads for the bar. In fact when Dennis starts drinking, his mind just goes blank. Dennis takes off with one of the guest and accompanies them to dinner (which I'm sure they didn't mind since I'm guessing Dennis picked up the tab). Let's just put it this way, Dennis is a train wreck.

The ladies give it their all trying to please each guest, with Joan as the accommodating concierge and Brande as every man's fantasy french maid.

Props to Anne for shuttling room service. That's hard work. I think all the women got a true appreciation of what it is like to service demanding guest. I don't think the guys learned anything about running a hotel all their attention was focused on Dennis.

In the end, in the boardroom, Jesse was articulate and smart with his assessment of the whole Rodman fiasco. Rodman, like he said, people idolize him, but when they get up close, they're disappointed by what they see. A troubled, confused, lonely man, but as Donald Trump said, a man with a big heart. Yeah, I can see that. What a pity-you're fired!-Single D

Amazing Race-Ah Phuket!

Racers leave Jaipur India for Phuket, Thailand (say it with me it's Poo Ket). First to leave Tammy and Victor at 10:21 am 10:50 Mike and Mel 11:02 Kisha and Jen 11:03 Margie and Luke 11:04 Cara and Jamie 11:11 Mike and Mark All teams make the same plane to Thailand where they have to find a statue of a gorilla. All racers except Mike and Mel head for the zoo. Mike and Mel's taxi driver tells them that it is at the beach? Huh? A costly and fatal mistake. Teams make it to the zoo and find the statue where the clue bids them to pose with a tiger and get a toe tap from an elephant. Can I just stop right here? Amazing Race shame on you! Shame on you for promoting and supporting caged animals for the sake of entertainment. I have always been against animals for entertainment, animal abusement. To put myself through college in San Diego, I worked in the production department of Sea World. Yes, I shared a dressing room with a crazed chimpanzee who used to throw his feces at me while I changed into my costume inside a volcano in the Dolphin Lagoon Show. From there I would run to my next gig which would be the sound effects for the Shamu show or for the Penguin show. Shamu would do 18 shows back to back in the summer. So on days when he just didn't feel like performing, he would get angry with his trainers and nose dive them to the bottom of the tank. Penguins would stop being cute, get depressed and die. Monkeys would just get crazy. Yes that crazed chimp which shared my dressing room, he was just rebelling because he knew that when he saw me, it meant he would have to don water skis and be pulled around the volcano by dolphins, which I'm sure he hated and I'm not sure he was all that crazy about being in the water either. So ever since that summer job, I always hated animals in cages and even more so for those animals that are just for public entertainment. Sure Sea World does and continues to save aquatic marine animals and educate the public, but at what cost? So I was terribly dismayed to see that beautiful tiger chained at the neck, whose sole purpose is to pose with tourist. No wonder the trainer only had one arm. Good for the tiger I say. The elephants made to squat over the races and pat their butts wasn't any better. I am appalled and totally outraged that the producers supported such a stunt. SHAME ON YOU! Amazing Race shows us the wonders of this world, it should also show respect for the animals that share this planet as well! The next stop was to a herb shop to find their next clue. I had to laugh at Cara and Jaime whose patience with all things human is wearing thin. Cara's like, I'm so glad I'm leaving India, with all the honking and speaking in a foreign language, dud! They were the first ones at the herb shop, but the last ones to leave because every drawer they pointed to, the kind old Thai man kept pointing to the wrong one. I think he purposely did that, hey itchiness gets you no where! Detour: 100 barrels or 2 miles I'd do the barrels, but only Kisha and Jen and Mel and Mike (after they finally made it to the zoo) did the barrels which was definitely the easier one. I know what the heat is like in Asia, humidity and heat not a good combination, so the rickshaw ride was had to be the harder and hotter stunt. Mike and Mark make quick work of it and race to the finish first, but only to find out that the stunt Mike pulled at the rickshaw station where he tampered with all the bike pumps and the fact that they had their taxi driver lead the way cost them a one hour penalty, making them lose out on a Hawaiian vacation and a third place finish. One word-dumb! Margie and Luke placed fourth and mom collapses but not before she says I need water only to fall on deaf (literally) ears, because Phil was too interested in signing to Luke "You are the fourth team to arrive!" and with that Margie faints. Ok Phil, we know you know how to sign that, now will someone get her some water! Mike and Mel's taxi ride to the beach instead of the zoo lead to a last place finish and elimination, go ahead Mel just say it, ah Phuket!-Single D

Twilight-The DVD Movie Review

With the release of the dvd, Twilight, I told my daughter she could have a sleepover with her best friend and watch Twilight. Of course I wanted to see it too, but I didn't want to horn in tweenie night. The girls were so excited to see it they could hardly wait until dark. I inflated the aerobed, brought down blankets and pillows, baked cookies and popped pop corn and dimmed the lights (I'm such a good mother!). I did sneak a peek every now and then to see how the movie was going and if it was too gory or stuff, which the consensus was no. After the movie my daughter complained that it wasn't as good as the book to that I responded that books are usually better than the movies. The next morning, the girls were watching it again, not quite as good in the daylight. That evening after dinner, I sat down to watch it with my daughter (her third time). Ok, one complaint, why do the dvd's have to be shown on wide screen. The entire movie, I watched people with their heads cutoff, and believe me the entire movie was shot up close and personal on people's faces. Kirsten Stewart looks like a young Debra Winger. What ever happened to her? She just up and disappeared after "The Sheltering Sky". Great book, lousy movie. Kirsten is lovely playing Bella, the displaced teen in love with a vampire. She has a natural look that the camera loves. Robert Pattinson, playing Edward wears a little too much lipstick. Nothing like kissing a guy that wears more makeup than you. Both characters play their roles in a brooding, moody, wooden, somber manner, not a laugh or hysterical outburst from either of them. I think the mannequin fairly sprinkled some fairy dust and gave the department store dummies the night off.

It was interesting to watch the movie with my daughter, we could exchange such things as that's exactly the way I pictured him and stuff. Charlie's house's is really cute, but not exactly what I pictured and Charlie is way too young in the movie. I pictured Charlie older, heavy (he's a cop after all) and white hair. Now why would Bella's mom want to divorce him? I imagined Jacob a Lou Diamond Phillips type, but instead he's more like the lovable puppy next door. I can't imagine him morphing into a werewolf, he's more like a black lab.

The movie ran pretty close to the book and 700 pages makes the movie move with lightening speed. Twilight definitely left the door open for a sequel, but I think if they were smart, they would just head to Breaking Dawn and be done with it. Why bother with New Moon and Eclipse when all the audience wants to see is the relationship between Bella and Edward and tweenies or not, that's all I want to see too.-Single D

Goodbye Natasha

I am always sadden with the death of someone so young and so beautiful as with the death of Natasha Richardson. It was shocking news and as always reminds me of how life is so fragile and precious. How one minute you're alive and then in the next you could be dead. How when you leave in the morning, maybe never to return. I was shocked when Princess Diana died and how she left her two boys. But what made Natasha's death even more shocking was the fact that she was just having some fun learning how to ski. She's wasn't being pursued by the paparazzi, she wasn't driving in a too fast car, she was just relaxing and enjoying herself. I remembered the time we went to Knotts Berry Farm, I went on a ride with my sister-in-law, while my daughter and husband stayed at the bottom, my daughter being too small to ride the Plunge. How terrifying could it be, it was after all just a hyped up water ride right? Wrong! As the roller coaster car chugged it's way up the track, it paused at the very top. It was then the horrifying thought came to me, that I could be thrown out of the car and plummet to my death. All I could think of was my family. What would become of them after I died senselessly on some thrill ride at an amusement park. How would my daughter survive without her mother? As the car started it's descent, riders were turned literally facing down and out at a 90 degree pitch, head first, keys flying out, cameras dropping, hats flying. I held on to my sister-in-law for dear life. She is solid weight after all and with my 100 pounds of bone I was hoping she wouldn't fall out of the car. The roller coaster plunged at 100 miles an hour, no time to scream, a quick prayer to Mother Mary, eyes shut, breath held, when mercifully the car splashes in the water, riders turned upright. All I could hear was the sound of water, all I could feel was my clothes getting wet as we sail through what was like a tunnel wave and it was then that I felt enormous gratitude for having survived. It was then on that hot summer day, I told myself, I would never do anything that stupid again, it just wasn't worth the price. And so, when I heard that Natasha Richardson had been in a skiing accident, I had hoped for her recovery. She had always been my favorite since her role in the remake of the "Parent Trap" with the then innocent Lindsey Lohan and Dennis Quaid. How I thought she was so naturally pretty and how in real life, she had lead such a charmed life. But when the news came that she had died, I thought of her boys and of their loss of a mother too young and too beautiful to die. Goodbye Natasha, a light extinguished much too soon!-Single D

Clubpenguin Lovers

Hey everybody I'm Single D's daughter and I asked her if I could write a blog and she said yes so here I am! There is this one website I love and enjoy playing it everyday! The website is called Clubpenguin.com. Its about connecting on the Internet with your best buddies or making new ones! Clubpenguin is absolutely safe for kids around the world. Clubpenguin is fun and it's all about having fun! Clubpenguin is free, but if you want extra stuff you will need to pay. That is the bad part about it but hey you can still have FUN! You can chat to friends two ways you can pick ultimate chat which lets you pick your own words and there is standard chat which lets you type stuff in. But becareful what you type in, because if you type something inappropriate you'll get banned and then you won't be able to play for awhile. Now about what's in the game. If you're not a member you can also get clothes. On Clubpenguin depending what holiday it is or what party they are throwing you can get free stuff! Sometimes they are hidden, other times there obvious signs you just need to look. If your having trouble finding the free things you can ask other penguins around you. You can also decorate your game card. A game card is when other penguins get to see where you are, visit your igloo, and get to see what your wearing. You can buy your backgrounds, clothes, pins and accessories in the Gift Shop in the catalog. Your igloo is your home to decorate if your a member. Sorry decorating your igloo is only for members. Decorating your igloo can be fun, and it's another way to show other penguins your personality. Or you can just be goofy and decorate it a silly way. Your friends can come visit your igloo and you can play in your igloo and have laughs. Your igloo can be fun too! Now there is a a lot in the Clubpenguin world! Create one now and find whats suits you BEST! :-) Have a blast in Clubpenguin! ;-) Doxielover

Amazing Race-From Russia to India

Racers leave Siberia for Jaipur India. 12:18am Margie and Luke 12:24am Tammi and Victor 12:30am Jamie and Cara 1:01am Mel and Mike 1:02am Mark and Mike 1:28am Kisha and Jen and 3:09am Christi and Jodi who after a last place finish will have to complete a speed bump and come in first this next leg. We all know from previous seasons how daunting and confusing India can be. Luke's crying because the children are eating out of trash cans and Cara is weeping because the animals are eating out trash cans, umm? Tammi keeps calling her taxi driver Babu. Hey isn't that the Pakistani that was deported on Seinfeld, Babu? And are those taxi's the amazingly cheap cars called the Nano? Hey America we need a $2,000 car in the US! I'd buy one, heck I'd buy one for each member of my family and my daughter doesn't even drive yet! The roadblock is to care for a camel, which means to carry water in buckets and baskets of hay. Doesn't sound too hard except that it's only about 100 degrees and Mel is doing it? Now there's a heart attack waiting to happen. But the old man came through because he has the smarts to carry the hay in the appointed basket while everyone else was stuffing the hay down their shirts like they were the scarecrow in Oz. The detour is movers or shakers. Movers had to ride a bicycle with 9 barrels of hay and then find a very tiny tiny silver elephant, more like finding an elephant in a haystack. Of course, undaunted, I think the littlest stunt guys want to prove their machoness by picking the task that involves the most muscle, have you noticed? Not wise if it means it's the hardest which this one was. All the other teams decide to do the shakers, heck, you get a souvenir scarf out of it and how hard is it to don a camel suit and beg for tips? I did like the pink pincushion hats that Jamie and Cara were wearing. And hey Margie, you got pink paint on your teeth! God, someone give that poor woman some rupees so she can brush her teeth. One thing I have to say about India, it sure is colorful. Jodi and Christi's speed bump was to paint a really cute elephant an Indian design. I'm sure the elephant didn't like that. After that they make quick time in the movers detour but not enough to edge out the little stunt guys and come in last. Well at least they got to see India and rest at the temple where all the cute little monkeys hung out. -Single D