Gone Cruisin'

In case you missed me last week, I thought I would regail you with tales from my vacation, if you can call it that. My husband and I took a Mexican Riviera cruise on Holland America's Oosterdam. The trip was for my husband's retirement, birthday and our anniversary. Considering the fact that I was violently ill on our last cruise (15 years ago), you would think I wouldn't step foot on any water craft other than my floating lounge chair. So with Dramamine in hand, I headed for the ship. One of the Holland America's ships had come down with the dreaded noro virus the week before so our ship had hand sanitizer dispensers about every 5 feet. That made me feel better.

Once in the cabin and the lifeboat drill was over, we grabbed adult beverages and headed for the back of the ship and watched as we casted off. It was very windy and cold back there but I guess that's the place to be as you leave port.

With a new case of wind burn, I got ready for dinner while trying to talk myself out of being sea sick. One Dramamine later, we chose the buffet for dinner and quickly realized that the same people were still there from lunch. I hope they made it to the lifeboat drill. The food was pretty bland which was a good thing for me since I was mostly interested in soup and crackers. Another Dramamine and it was off to bed and thoughts of what we will do tomorrow.

Cabo San Lucas was our first stop. We didn't see any shore excursions that floated our boats, (get it? A little attempt at sea humor, ok, not so good) so we decided to hoof it and see our own sights. After a little shopping and picture taking, we ended up at Cabo Wabo. For those of you not familiar with Cabo Wabo, it's a restaurant/bar/concert hall owned by Sammy Haggar from Van Halen. We had a few margaritas and some wonderful lobster ceviche but no Sammy. I'm sure if I had had another 1 or 2 margaritas, everyone would have looked like Sammy Haggar. Sorry I missed you Sammy, your place is terrific!

After running the gauntlet of time share salesman and Chicklet hawkers, it was back to the ship and a pedicure I had set up that morning. While my tootsies were being pampered, I could see whale spouts in the distance. I did see some whale tales and a few were actually on the whales.

Day 3 and my Dramamine supply is dangerously low. Luckily I had figured out that 1 Dramamine, 2 Tylenol and a margarita did the trick and saved on the Dramamine until I could restock.

Next stop, Mazatlan where we had set up a canopy zip line tour. Did I mention I'm afraid of heights? After a 45 minute bus ride to an agave farm, we were kitted out with harnesses and helmets and driven up the last part of a mountain to begin the tour. The tour directors were all happy people, I was hoping they hadn't indulged in the by product of the agave plant before coming to work, but they were also all about safety which made me feel that much better. While waiting our turn on the zip line, I was third from last, my husband made me go in front of him so I couldn't chicken out, I watched everyone else thinking that doesn't look so bad. By the time it was my turn I was thinking, this looks like fun, then one of the tour directors said, step up here. Shaking so bad that my teeth were chattering, I was off with a half hearted WOO HOO! What seemed like hours later, but was actually about 40 seconds, I arrived at the second platform. Somewhere along that line, the bones had fallen out of my legs. Did I mention that we were about 120 feet above the canyon floor? I was still shaking so badly that the crew didn't think I would make it to the end, but make it I did! At the end was the promise of tequila tasting, after all, this was an agave farm. The first shot of tequila calmed my shaking legs and the second made me want to go again, not really.

Another bus ride back to town and a quick trip to the pharmacy for more Dramamine and a stop at a local watering hole our tour quide, Luis, told us about. He said this place had the best marlin tacos and he wasn't kidding. Freshly caught and smoked marlin tacos, grilled shrimp tacos and of course margaritas. With fun music playing and plenty of people watching, I could have spent our whole vacation there! But alas, it was back to the ship and my dramamine.

Fortunately, we had a late dinner that night and I still had visions of marlin tacos dancing in my head. Just as we were being served our wine at dinner, the ship's fire alarm went off. Didn't we already do this? Turned out the ship really was on fire! The captain's voice came on the speaker urging everyone to remain calm, can you say Titanic?! Fire, iceburg, who cares! A sinking ship is a sinking ship! The captain's second announcement, still urging everyone to stay calm and that the crew was battling the blaze. Did he say blaze?! At this point the wine steward came around to have everyone sign for their wine and we hadn't even had appitizers. I guess if we were going down, he wasn't giving any freebies. I was trying to remember the safety drill and how to put on that life jacket and where did I put that Dramamine? By the time dinner was over, the fire was out and the desert, crapes flambe' (I'm not kidding) was cancelled. I guess the captain was a little skittish about any kind of flame at this point.

The last two days cruising back to San Diego and we hit rough seas. I went into a Dramamine coma only coming out to get some soup and crackers. I did find that a glass of wine and playing poker in the casino did wonders for sea sickness. Our in room TV did have one of my favorite TV shows playing, No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. Tony, you have no idea how much you saved me from peering into the toilet! I should have bought stock in Dramamine.

Back on terra firma and reflecting back on the cruise, I don't think I'll do it again. At least my pedicure still looks good! Double D