The Bachelorette-Oh Canada!

It's thirteen to Vancouver, Canada, Jillian's hometown. Vancouver is a beautiful city. Clean, sparkling and hip. We went there last year, did the touristy thing in Vancouver, Whistler and Victoria. Whistler is a quaint mountain town which probably looks better when it is snow covered. The food there is hugely expensive as they have a captive audience, but the village is quaint. The day we went, never fails, my sister-in-law always brings the hot weather, it followed us from Seattle to Whistler as both places were having the hottest weather on record. Vancouver thankfully cooled down and it even rained. Don't bother going to Chinatown which I had heard was really large. It was only about two streets and was more like an after thought than a town. We then took the ferry from Vancouver over to Victoria Island. We stayed there for a few days, but essentially one could see it in a day. Victoria is quaint and there is a fabulous English style bakery which served something like a high tea. The best place to say of course is the Fairmont Victoria over looking the harbor. When you are on a small island, it is always wise to stay at the best location because that will be what you will remember the most. When we went to Quebec no question the place to stay is the Chateau Frontenac, absolutely beautiful over looking the St. Charles river. The rooms are beautiful with great views of the river and city. When you go there, stay inside the old city and eat lots of French Onion soup.

Jillian's first one on one date in her hometown is with Kiptyn. Kiptynite is letting Jillian win the kayak race over to Granville Island, one of my favorite spots in Vancouver. The food there is unbelievable! Fantastic bakeries and food vendors. Then it's back home, was that Jillian's place? Nice kitchen where she is making tortellini. No lingering over pasta tho, it's straight to kissing. She definitely has the hots for him. The group date is everyone else except for Mike and Mark who unfortunately get the dreaded two on one date, where one of them will be sent packing. Oh no, not my Mike! The group date is to an ice rink for that quirky sport of curling. My daughter is like why do they have to sweep it? Jesse looked kinda cute when he pushed the stone in the circle, but just when I thought that, he does some weird chicken happy dance. Red team win the prize of getting a dinner cruise date with Jillian. Hey the dinner was more of a prize for me. The crab dumped at the table looked awesome! Afterward she takes each one individually to get some alone time. Here she tells Jake that he needn't be so perfect, that he can be himself. You could so see his disappointment, yes Jillian I am perfect, I can't help it. Sigh! I think David had one too many shots of tequila because he was loud and obnoxious. He called Jillian a liar and kept adjusting her blouse, hey buddy hands off! I would have so slapped him! To Jillian she felt he totally disrespected her. Fate seal, so long trucker! When David went in for the kiss, Jillian turns her cheek which David says he's not used to being denied, I bet, denial could mean two black eyes. Jesse gets the rose for the evening and rightly so, he was very sweet.

The dreaded two on one date, is a helicopter ride to Grouse Mountain, which looked totally amazing. Ah that's where the snow's at. Haven't been there! Mike talked non-stop which was probably his undoing, shut up! The more I looked at Mike, couldn't tell if he was good looking or looking cartoonish in a Bob Hope sort of way. I would of bet money that she was sending mild mannered Mark home, especially after when he was so nonchalant about relationships. Mike on the other hand was practically asking Jillian to marry him. My jaw fell to the floor when she sent Mike home, no wonder, no woman wants to be out talked by some guy.

The cocktail party everyone wanted to spill to Jillian about Wes's off handed comment that he could be in love with several women at the same time, (did that translate into that he has a girlfriend? Because I didn't get that.) The only one that had the nerve was Tanner, who didn't spill names but did tell Jillian that someone did have a girlfriend or some kind of agenda. Ah come on guys, grow a set! Now that's the difference between men and women. Women won't give it a second thought to spill names, it must be some sort of guy code. Jillian of course is upset and says the rose ceremony won't go on. Jake stands up like a man and calls the dastardly dude out, while Tanner tries to surreptitiously give the eye over to Wes. Tanner starts to get worried over his precarious spilling that he might get sent home, no worries, he is safe for another week. Jillian sends home Juan and David. David we knew, but Juan, maybe she had her suspicions about him, Jillian wrong guy, it's Wes you fool! With Juan and David gone, whose going to stir the pot? oh yeah, Tanner is still there.-Single D

The Bachelorette-Jillian, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

At first I thought when all the bachelors first stepped out of the limo, I thought a bus of Chippendale dancers let off. Now on closer inspection, I'm thinking, nah. Let's take stock of Jillian's front runners.

Wes, would be singing cowboy. Why do women fall for men who sing? My sister-in-law had a thing (still does) for guys wielding a guitar, never mind that they're married or otherwise involved. What chance does a groupie have? Can't tell what agenda Wes has yet, but he definitely ranks up there in bad boy stratosphere right along side anger control issues of David, the trucker, who told Jillian that he's used to being numero uno. Yeah right, maybe by force or fist. He's a take no prisoners kind of guy and if Jillian likes to be control then that's the guy for her, but it looks more like "Sleeping with the Enemy". Sure Juan may rub him the wrong way, but in my book I think Juan is just on the show to prove to his mama that he ain't gay. Come on Juan, it's ok, come out of the closet. I'm thinking David feels so threaten by Juan because he's probably subconsciously has his gay-dar pointing at Juan and doesn't know it.

Kiptyn's ok, if you like greasy looking guys, and he's going to lose his hair real fast. Ok, I know I'm shallow, I like hair, I can't help it (that's about the only thing going for my husband, just kidding dear!). Speaking of hair, Mike's best assets are those thick shiny locks but ease up on the hair gel dude. Girls like natural. Have yet to see a charming side to him, wait! yes we did in a black speedo! How could I forget! And Tanner, why is she keeping him around, that foot fetish thing, gads, he was practically salivating touching her feet and thinking what he would do to them if the cameras were off. Yuck, perv! Keep your fetishes to yourself. My bet is still for Jake, the pilot. Is he just too good to be true or what?

Poor Sasha, being sent home, he might of had potential. So what if he said his heart was never broken, I think Jillian did just that by sending him home. Right after Sasha told Jillian that story of his car crash which he barely survived, Jillian was moved to tears. Ok, now goodbye. That was cold! I still hear my daughter in the background saying, Sasha is a girl's name! And you're not going to tell me that Ed wasn't scared shitless having to repel down a high rise in downtown L.A. No way, no how, not for anyone, would I do that! Well not for someone, but maybe for money? Robby showed his sweet side during the cowboy video and certainly deserved to stay. I loved the brokeback scene between the two Mikes, that was totally funny, too bad it wasn't Juan playing that part. Tanner F and too wet behind the ears, Brad were sent home. Hopefully David and Juan will stay on for a few more episodes, otherwise, this season could be a sleeper.-Single D

My Husband-The Handyman

Recently our Whirlpool refrigerator/freezer ice maker started making a column of ice from one corner of the ice maker. This column of ice would attach itself from the bottom of the tray to the ice cubes below. Now generally this would not be a problem (I kept breaking off the column) except for two things. The ice column would clump the ice cubes below and thereby not let any cubes into the chamber for release and the column of ice was brownish and had a grit in it. Now how did grit get into the water? So I thought maybe it was time for a new water filter. Got the filter, put it in, then something curious happened. The ice maker stopped working of course. Now why would the ice maker breakdown? The refrigerator is less than 6 years old which by today's standard would mean it's ancient. My husband's parents gold Kenmore lasted 20 years, granted it's ice making capacity was a little tired and sluggish, but it still worked and made ice. My whole family groaned as the ice maker came to a complete halt. My daughter said in a confused stated, "Now what are we going to do?" "Are we going to have to live like hobos? (her favorite word for poor people) as I pull out the plastic ice cube trays from storage. It's probably time to buy a new refrigerator because the plastic veggie bin drawer has been broken for two years (we buy a lot of produce) and now the ice maker is caput. We make a trip to the local R.C. Willey's, on Saturday's its free hot dogs and soda-hey it's free lunch and you don't have to buy anything and we check out the prices of new fridges. Of course the one I want cost over $2500.00 with the new French Doors and bottom freezer. Anything with the word French in it will spiral the price upwards. I go home depressed. Maybe we can live without ice making capabilities. Nothing wrong with making ice, my mother did it, my grandmother did it, well maybe she didn't, she's was old world Italian. Well heck, at least we don't have to keep our ice in a block in the ice shed like "Little House on the Prairie". My husband complains that the ice from the trays are too big for the water bottles. I tell him put the cubes in a plastic bag and crush them with a mallet, he's looking at me like I'm crazy. This of course sent him over the edge to try to fix this problem. Now let me tell you, my husband never was nor will be a handyman, it's like he has two left hands and no functioning logic, you know, use a hammer when it calls for a screwdriver. Me, I have more testosterone than my male chihuahua, so I am more capable of figuring out things and I semi-read the directions and I'm also Asian. This past week he went on a crusade to fix our ice maker. He called several appliance repair places which tell him the fix will probably cost over $300.00. That tears it! We need to buy a new fridge right now! He finally talks to one nice appliance guy that tells him that it's the ice unit which is an easy fix and only involves three screws. That excites him! Only three screws he chants! The appliance guy tells him the part cost less than $100.00 and can easily be installed himself. I'm thinking nothing is that easy, what's the catch? He finds the part in town (which is considerably less expensive that ordering it from Whirlpool), we drive to the other side of town, which my daughter exclaims, it this hobotown? We go into the appliance store, I'm still doubtful. There are parakeets flying around and chirping, that makes me feel a little better. I ask the guy is this the problem with our ice maker? He's like, look lady, if I knew that, I would be a millionaire. We buy the part, never mind there are signs all over the store screaming, NO REFUNDS! My husband wants to take the part home immediately, no stops at our local Target store for our weekly stop. He takes his prize into the house like it was the off spring of the Dalai Lama, and quickly starts to work on installing it. For myself, I remain calm, because I know later, I will be screaming that we just blew $100.00 for a wrong part and we need to buy the French door refrigerator, never mind that it will now cost $2600.00! He holds the part in, but his hands are too big to get the tiny screws in the holes, he claims they aren't a match. Oh boy, here we go. I go in, patience still in tack. I place the screw in the hole, he screws it in. After it is in place all three screws home, he says I hope I put in the wire plug in good enough. Great! why would you think that after the thing was all screwed in? We shut the freezer and say our novenas. An hour later we peek. No ice, but some suspicious brown residue at the bottom of the bin. We pull the bin out, my husband says he wiped out the bottom of it (you know husband style cleaning), we rinse it again, by this time I'm thinking maybe we should have rinsed out the ice maker too, you know all that storage dust and all. We carefully place back the bin, I place my finger in the ice maker, it feels like there's ice there, or maybe it's just cold. We shut the door. I tell my husband, I haven't heard the water run through the ice maker and right when I said that, we heard a clunk in the freezer. I wouldn't have registered it, except my husband ran to the freezer and screamed, "We have ice!" I rush with disbelief and peer into the bin, yep, sure enough there's ice at the bottom. Maybe it was a fluke, couldn't possibly be that easy! Hours later and ice is being make a record speed, my husband's chest is puffed up like some sort of pigeon doing his happy dance. I fixed it, I fixed it! He jumps up and down like a seven year old! Boy am I never going to hear the end of it. My daughter is just happy we're normal again, not hobos. Myself, a little relieved, a little disappointed I'm not getting that French door refrigerator and in the background I could hear my husband on the phone to the appliance store-hey do you have a vegetable bin for a Whirlpool?-Single D

The Bachelorette-Jillian-Harlem Globetrotters

The first group date, eight bachelors, Michael, Brian, Brad, Sasha, Tanner P., Wes, Ed, and Mathue are invited to a pool party. The winner of this rose challenge will get to move from the bunk house to the mansion. Jillian and Michael have a one on one chat upstairs when all of a sudden, Jillian, grabs the rose and makes an abrupt departure. Gee did he have bad breath or was the conversation that bad with Michael? Chris Hansen comes in and tells the guys that Jillian has left the building. The guys are like, what! we was robbed! But wait, it's a hide and seek challenge, winner will get a date w/Jillian. The guys are led on a cooper mini chase through the streets of L.A. making a stop at the local Nick's jewelry store to pick up a million dollar necklace. The teams of two are not good at deciphering clues, (hey they're guys after all, not good at reading or taking directions), but it is Wes and Brad first at the bank, where Jillian decides to give the win to Wes and invites him into the bank vault for dinner, gee how romantic, hey I'm kidding here! Who knew they have a bar in a bank vault, must be on Rodeo Drive or something. Why in the world would she pick Wes, because he's your typical bad boy? I think he has another agenda, like getting his CD's sold here instead of Chihuahua, Mexico. Never mind that Wes has crooked hair and is your bad boy, Jillian gives him the rose anyway all the while wearing the necklace they brought her that was seriously ugly. That thing was how much?

Next it's a single date for Jake, our commercial pilot. Can I tell you he reminds me of my first boyfriend in high school, Craig Husband, who by the way dumped me for some rhyming twin name Malerie of Malerie and Valerie fame, (not identical). I was so hurt and confused, scarred for life well at least for the next week, it was high school after all. Now he's an Undersheriff, whatever that means, (hey, I'm not keeping tabs or anything!).

Anyway, Jake and Jillian stop by a cowboy shop where we get to see Jake strip off his shirt, wow! Calm down Donna! Next it's on to House of Blues where they get the entire place to themselves, where Jillian puts on her Coyote Ugly on and dances on the bar. I think she needed a few more drinks to pull that one off. Here they are serenaded by Martina McBride. If Jake wasn't so hunky my total focus would have been on the concert. Jake suddenly goes for the kill and plants a kiss on Jillian. Hey, that's my kind of guy! So far it's been Jillian doing all the kissing, finally a guy that will be the guy and go straight for the kiss. It was made for TV and with that Jake gets the rose. I think Jake comes off pretty sincere and sweet and a manly man, hey Jake, like Cougars?

The next group date Jesse, Mark, David, Mike, Simon, Kiptyn and Juan go to the park to play some b-ball with the Harlem Globetrotters. You'd think Simon, that 6' lurch from England would be able to make some baskets, guess he's good at playing cricket or something. The Globetrotters pick David as the best match for Jillian. Later, we learn that Jesse, the wine maker, gave up a wine making stint in Venice, Italy to be on the Bachelorette. Humm, Venice or Jillian, Venice or Jillian. I've been to Venice, no contest, Venice! She should have given him the rose, but instead I guess Mike (Mr. Baseball Camp) got the rose for stripping down in his speedo and jumping in the ocean. She must have liked what she saw, but that didn't work for nerdy Brian when he made a nude jump during the rose ceremony. He was one of 4 rejected. He wails, it must have been the shrinkage!

The other three to go, Simon who didn't get any air time with Jillian along with Mathue and hunky Julien (she should have kept him). She kept foot fetish Tanner, aw come on Jillian, dump the weirdo, she should have kept Brian (you know Mr. Shrinkage). The one that got the most hate votes from the guys, Juan second only to the fact that the guys couldn't vote for Wes since he had a rose. I'm thinking Wes and Juan will be the guys you love to hate. At first I'm like thinking Juan looked pretty good, he is after all a mama's boy, but he's coming off like a weasel. Aye Mama mia, she would not be happy!-Single D

Benjamin Button-A DVD Review

We rented Curious Case of Benjamin Button Saturday night, since Blockbuster didn't have "Doubt" in stock. "Doubt" must be a really good movie, they've been out ever since it's dvd release. But, I've been wanting to see Benjamin Button, because of the odd storyline, F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story, of a boy that ages backwards, not to mention that it has one of the ultimate yummies is in it, Brad Pitt. He's been hunky in my book ever since he graced the screen in "Thelma and Louise" as the cowboy drifter. He was absolutely luscious in " Legends of the Fall" and "Meet Joe Black", and of course all those "Ocean's" movies. I was curious to see how it was that he would played the young aged Benjamin, 80 years old on the outside, but only 7 years old in real time. Brad Pitt's movie magic small frame and short stature really does makes us believe that he's the aged Button and everyone around him accepts this oddity with not so much of a blink of the eye. Someone really should tell Queenie that she could have been a rich woman and gained fame and fortune. But she doesn't pay no mind and really doesn't notice that he's is getting younger and more handsome, she's got the elderly to take care of. Curious that this story should take place in an old people's home, where getting old is the way of life and death. Curious that Daisy even at a young age finds herself drawn to the curiosity that is Button. Curious, that I couldn't wait for his transformation.

Much of the movie is told by his narration of his life in detail, how he gets a job on a tug boat during WWII, how he finds grown up sex as a resident of a lonely hotel, how his father who gave him up ultimately regrets that decision and how he inherits his father's small fortune, all the while slowly aging backward. He does finally get the girl, Daisy, played beautifully by Kate Blanchett. They never marry, but they do have a child. I didn't think Julia Ormand playing Daisy and Button's daughter was a good fit. Maybe Julia wanted to make some kind of comeback and that maybe in this film she could capture some of her magic from the "Legends of the Fall". Unfortunately for her, Brad hasn't aged a day in real life, but I can't say the same for Julia. I wanted Daisy's daughter to either show some resemblance to Daisy or Ben, she didn't show any, for all I knew, she could have been the postman's daughter.

Daisy and Ben do find a few good years where they meet in the middle, but when the hands of the clock that's ticking backward for Benjamin and forward for Daisy, how will Daisy reconcile that Ben will one day be a toddler along side their daughter? It was a sad parting, oh retched thing called love! The movie left me with one question, would I want to age backward going from old to young, knowing that one day I would end up in diapers where I would shut my eyes for a nap to have death steal your life? The ending was abrupt and disconcerting, no solace in a love lost, no last longing look into a young Button's face, no Button waiting for Daisy's at death's doorstep to guide her to heaven. No "Ghost" ending here.

The movie is very long, so make sure you have a chunk of three uninterrupted hours, get your popcorn on and savor all things Brad. He's still a yummy, will always be and for me even when he's really eighty!-Single D

American Idol-The Winner is!

Hooray! I was so resigned to the fact that Adam Lambert was going to win this season's American Idol. After last season's rock dude David Cook winning over my choice of little David Archuletta, I was not happy that once again another rocker dude was going to win. Granted Adam does have an ok voice and could definitely sing in something like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" or "Little Shop of Horrors" but would he be someone I would want to listen to on my ipod in the car? No! Adam is all about show and theatrics and sticking out that tongue like KISS. I prefer singers that leave that appendage in their mouths to sing. Granted Kris is not the greatest find since Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood, but he does have a quiet potential and clearly showed his would be superstar brilliance when he duo with Keith Urban in "I Want To Kiss a Girl". I was in awe, now why didn't he do that before? Kris Allen showed us that he does have the stuff and I will be listening to what he will do next. As for Adam, fans need not worry, I'm sure they will be able to catch Adam Lambert in the next production of "Phantom of the Opera" coming to a local theater near you!-Single D

The Bachelorette-Jillian

Jillian wasted no time between being rejected by bachelor Jason to turn her own jilted love story into her being the next bachelorette. All I can say is you go girl! Donna and I both agree that she has quite a few hunks to chose from, lucky girl! Oh how I wish I were her! If only! Hunky number one, Kiptyn from my own stomping ground, Encinitas. He looks great except that have you ever met a straight event planner? Hunk number 2, Julian, restaurant owner, looks like he has a lot of money, but does he have any substance? Only time will tell. Juan the contractor and mama's boy from Argentina. Donna doesn't like him, but I think he's cute enough, maybe just the word Argentina makes me want to do the tango with him. Mark the biker from Denver, borderline hunk, can you really be hunkie in spandex? Sasha's cute but isn't that a girl's name? Greg- fitness model, looks like a beefed up Jason, she should get rid of him real fast. Kyle, head of the nerd herd, right up there with Stephen, nice Jewish lawyer from New York. And Wes, he has a number one song in Chihuahua Mexico? And then there's Jake, commercial pilot, hubba, hubba. So many men too little time.

Trucker David gets the first impression rose from Jillian, because his first impression was that his tongue got tied in a knot and he was about to either cry or barf. Hey, what ever works. The men got their competition on, with Mike break dancing. Can white guys break dance? After all the guys sniff each other out and puff out their chest in the ritual male rites of passage, Chris Hanson tells Jillian there's more. Heads whip like deer caught in the headlights. More guys? And with that brings out five more males, much to the disgusted grunting of the herd. These guys come out like they were the party's Chippendale dancers. I expect them to whip off their suits and start dancing in their thongs, sigh, was not to be!

One of the new guys, Tanner takes Jillian out to the pool in hopes that he can sneak a peek at her tooties since apparently he has a foot fetish? Yuck, freak-Jillian one word-run! He probably wears woman's underwear too!

All too soon it's time for the rose ceremony and sadly 10 males will be emasculated and their egos dashed. Well at least she has 30 to chose from.

This season looks like it's going to be a wild ride and from the coming previews looks like some guys are just in it for their own gain. Hopefully Jillian will be able to sift through all the losers and find a gem like Trista did. As I was looking at the bios, I saw Mike, baseball owner camp, among the pictures, didn't notice him during the premeire (I know, I know, how could I not notice him!), hopefully Jillian didn't do something stupid like not giving him a rose! Sigh! Oh Hello! Want my phone number?-Single D

Survivor Tocantins-Finale!

Another satisfying season of Survivor. It started out slow for me when I couldn't decide who I liked until finally there emerged a true Survivor with the likes of Ozzy from Survivor Panama. JT, country boy from Alabama. Finally the emergence of the quirky cast started riveting my attention. I'd watch just to see how much of a fool Coach would make of himself, the Steven Segal of the group, wannabe messiah, dragon slayer, quoter of famous lines. I'd watch just to see if Tyson could kiss himself, or as Joan Rivers said of Clint Black in the Celebrity Apprentice, if Clint walked into a bar, he'd date himself, which would aptly apply to Tyson. So I watched the finale and was not disappointed when JT won. There were a few moments of doubt when I thought he could possibly lose to Stephen, but when Stephen started talking in the Q & A he totally lost the jury's vote by being less than sincere and coming off smarmy and deceitful. You could just see it in the jury's face. JT meanwhile, kept his cool, played on his sincerity, garnering votes from the jury as JT looked like a whipped puppy when Stephen said that he didn't know if he would have taken JT with him to the final two. JT looked like the woman scorned and he played it right into the hands of the jury.

One word Taj, get over it, ok that's three words. What's the difference between third place or fourth place? She was never going to be the final two and she knew it.

Glad JT won, if he hadn't, I'd be tempted to do what my husband always says when the person he doesn't want to win, wins, "I'm never watching this stupid show again!". Well, thankfully I don't have to threaten that! Go JT!!-Single D

Amazing Race and Celebrity Apprentice Finales

Sunday's come to a screeching halt with the finales of Amazing Race and Celebrity Apprentice. For me it was like ordering a hot fudge sundae and not getting the hot fudge and whipped cream. I was so disappointed with the finale winners of Tammi and Victor on Amazing Race, just because I wanted the underdogs of Margie and Luke to win this whole thing. I think all of America was probably rooting for them. At the beginning of the episode I didn't think Margie and Luke had a chance up against Tammi and Victor. I knew Jamie and Cara would get messed up somehow, like every episode gone before. Those two can't get a break. They get stuck with the wrong taxi drivers in every country they've been in, with Maui as no exception. When their taxi driver called the dispatcher to get directions, her reply was, " tell them that I am not their personal concierge". Well, so much for the Aloha spirit and Hawaiian Hospitality! When Margie and Luke pass up the other two teams carrying a 145 lb pig on the beach to a luau to be cooked, Margie showed her brawn by not dropping the albino pig once. I'd hate to be the guest for this luau cookout. It is here that I get a bit excited when they make it out first and onto the jet ski to find their next clue. Mother Margie drove that jet ski like a real pro, but her stress was showing when she kept yelling at Luke to stop yelling at her. Mom, mom! Could he hear her, because she certainly wasn't signing as she was driving the jet ski.

When they reach the final roadblock, Luke had such a lead, I thought for sure he's going to ace this thing, the finale challenge that he's been preparing for the entire trip according to Margie. He makes quick work of finding all the correct surfboards with the correct pictures, but then gets stymied on the last two for China. I think the pressure got to him as the other teams start sifting through the surfboards and when Luke gets stumped he gets all whacked out and loses his cool. Right there and then I knew it was a hopeless cause. When Tammi and Victor crossed the finish line, I was so disgusted, I quickly turned it to the Celebrity Apprentice, but by then, I had missed the first hour which appeared that much wasn't happening except Joan pissing off her designer. Joan vs. Annie, what else do we need to know? I don't know what happened to Joan's designer, but Annie had to tell everyone she talked to that Joan pissed off her designed. She told that story over and over with such glee that by the time she hashed it over with Tom Green, he was like, "to be cut down by Joan is a badge of honor" and practically told her to shut up. Go Green!

Just the facts, Annie raises or in this case strong arms her friends out of $400,000 to Joan's $150,000. The only reason Annie made so much money is that all her friends are afraid of her. God that woman is really scary, why wouldn't she be liken to some of history's greatest dictators? Go Joan. Come on Annie, everyone's tired of your sob story that Joan liken you to Hilter, get over it, it's just a game!

Needless to say it was sweet justice when the Donald pronounced to Annie, I just want to say to you (at which point Annie thought he was going to tell her she was the celebrity apprentice), did you notice how she jumped? But instead he told her she was fired! The Donald's a smart man, he knew he had to give the crown to Joan, the only thing Annie had going for her was bucks, but bottom line, it's not all about money, it's also about other things, like likability, personality and respect. The world loves Joan. Annie, you are after all, just a "pokaa playaar"!-Single D

Amazing Race-Lost in Translation

Dear Readers,

I have been away this entire week for work in Washington, D.C., but never fear, I did manage to see all my favorite reality shows! I got into DC on Sunday, I made sure I took a flight that would get me to my hotel before prime time and in enough time to find dinner and get back to my room in time for Amazing Race. First of all let me do a review of the room here at the Hyatt, Reston. Nice location in Reston, VA. Attached to the hotel are two streets lined with shops and restaurants. The hotel is nicely appointed except the lay out is sort of awkward. I love hotels that have a grand lobby and this lobby doesn't do this hotel justice. My room is nice and on the fifth floor with a nice view of the park across the street. The view out my window is green, every shade of green you can think of. Not used to all that green coming from Las Vegas, but go figure, it rained every day while I was there. My criteria for a hotel is how comfy the beds are and if they are dressed in a sheet comforter and accompanied with heavenly soft pillows, which in this case ranks right up there with 4-5 star hotels! The bed was heavenly and the pillows soft and plentiful. The only minus was that the room did not have a fridge. It did have a safe but no fridge. Now if someone could only come up with a safe that doubles as a fridge I'd have it made! Below the safe were two bottles of water with a sign that said "Make your day Happy" and below that the price of $5.00! I wouldn't be too happy to spend $5.00 for a bottle of water. Go ahead make my day!

So happily ensconced in my heavenly bed, with a pecan roll from Panera Bread and my "Free" water and "Free" tea, I settled in for Amazing Race.

This episode is part two of the race through China, with Jamie and Cara making faces that they have to continue racing. Jamie tells her taxi driver to "stay" like he's some sort of pet lab. Here they must find the gnome and bike ride to the Forbidden City. The Detour: Beijing Opera or Chinese Waiter. All teams except Victor and Tammi chose opera, because no one speaks Chinese except for V & T. Go figure this one is cake for them being Chinese and all. Shut up Victor!

And Margie will you shut up long enough for Luke to put that pancake makeup on you. Go ahead Luke you have my permission that the next time Margie opens her mouth to stick powder in it!

Kisha and Jen quickly finish the task out running Jamie and Cara. Thankfully that Tammi and Victor finished their Chinese waiter task and quickly u-turned Kisha and Jen. Who knew they would feel threaten by them? I thought for sure if Kisha and Jen got to the u-turn they would use it on Margie and Luke. That would have been real problems for Margie and Luke especially since it involved listening and speaking Chinese. When Kisha and Jen did the Chinese food ordering, I was laughing pecan crumbs out of my mouth with their butchering of Chinese, instead of Hot Peking Noodles they ordered stinking feet of cow. Once Margie and Luke were done with the opera they couldn't find the u-turn station but Luke smartly said that it should be near the opera station which proved he was right. Why wasn't Margie listening? Jamie and Cara finally done with the opera get lost in translation as well. How much you wanna make a bet those two never return to China?

The road block is to eat what else, Chinese Delicacies, which of course means horror food, which comprised of scorpions, larvae, star fish. Poor star fish, what did they ever do to you, who knew you could eat those? Leave it to the Chinese, if it's in the ocean it's edible. YUCK! Victor just sucked the guts out but I think everyone else ate it shell and all. Ah that's going to hurt coming out! Thankfully it was fried, ah can you wrap mine in bacon please? In the end, it was a foot race between Jamie and Cara and Jen and Kisha. Jamie and Cara once again had dingy redhead brains for direction and lose a lot of time, while Jen and Kisha had their racing faces on especially Jen having to eat all that horrid stuff and not a single heave out of her. Shucks! I love it when people puke. Jamie and Cara just step on the mat mere seconds before Jen and Kisha whose undoing was that Jen couldn't hold her pee (or poop) before she could make it to the mat. It's the pee that cost a million dollars, but I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go and I'm glad to see them go. -Single D

Survivor-Tocantins

In a land very far far away, a warrior king once ruled his tribe. This king was named Coach. He liken himself to a dragon slayer, warrior king, wearing his hair in a top knot like ancient Asian sumo wrestler, ancient dragon slayer. He spoke the language of great warrior kings. He spoke of strength and power. He mediated and performed ancient warrior Tai Chi, mastering his own internal Chi and spewing his philosophy for anyone who would listen. Those he chose were hand picked to be in the army of the warrior king. Those that were not favor by the warrior king, lived in fear and isolation. This warrior king had an second in command, Tyson. Although Tyson was his commander, Tyson was really the strength of the warrior king's army, winning challenge after challenge. The warrior king created a cult of worshippers willing to follow the warrior king's prophecy of the creation of the strong and like mindedness. But not all was well in the cult. There emerged a boy, JT, who was strong and had a secret knowledge. He knew he had to bring down the warrior king before the king would take over the entire kingdom and win the greatest prize of all, the title of warrior king of the universe and then no one would be free from his grandiose boasting ever again. The warrior king already slayed one dragon, his fiercest opponent Brendan, and with Tyson, his winner of challenges, time had come to bring down the warrior king by cutting off his most valuable possession, his right arm, Tyson. So, JT, the would be David, slaying Goliath, hatched a plan to cut the arm off the king. With perfect and unexpected precision, the arm was sliced and removed much to the king's surprise. The question remains, can the boy, JT wear the crown and be king?-Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-Rightguard

I know it's just a game, but I can't stand Annie. Haven't I said this before? What I'm wondering is why didn't Melissa volunteer to be the PM for this next challenge after the Donald moved Jesse over to Athena. Instead Brandi volunteers for Kotu with Clint for Athena. This challenge is to create a 4 page spread for RightGuard deodorant centering around David Lee of the Knicks. I guess he must be a right guard? This weeks guest judge is loud mouth Jim Cramer, sell, sell, sell! Once again poor little homely girl Melissa is left out of the hip girl's group. It was just too painful to watch and typical of the dynamics of girls everywhere, the pretty girl, the bossy girl and the homely girl. As I've always told my daughter when she wants to invite 2 of her girls over for a sleep over, if they are not all best friends, then there will always be a 2 against 1 balance and someone will always feel left out. Clint has soften his bossy side, a little, but still is getting on Jesse's goat. Here I think the dynamic is the two alpha males want dominance with Joan trying to play peacemaker. I thought both ads were awful, but in the end, Clint's choice of color was what won it for them, by a hair according to Jesse. At least Jesse manned up that theirs was better no matter how much he hated their ad. I knew which one Trump was going to choose in the end, between Melissa, Brandi or Annie. He couldn't get rid of Annie, she's the villianess we love to hate. Trump's lust and affection ruled by his pants got the better of him in this boardroom. He came short of saying, Melissa you know beauty always wins over homely, which totally sucked. Instead he blamed Melissa's lack of fund raising. Aw come on, just admit it Trump, you would rather gaze at the flaxen haired beauty of Brandi than Melissa's botox forehead anyday. Mother Joan was raging when Melissa was fired. She spits out scorn to Annie Duke, saying with such disgust, "You're just a poker player, a pokaa playeer!" like Annie isn't worth the dirt on Joan's high heels and left with her daughter. Melissa left bitter and scorned like I'm sure it was not the first time in her life. At least she could have bowed out graciously and not let the mean girls win this one. Well once again, reality TV at it's finest! -Single D

Amazing Race-Chinese Torture

The 9th pit stop in China, Kisha and Jen are the first to leave at 1:48 pm, heading for Beijing. Tammi and Victor-1:48

Margie and Luke- 1:50

Jamie and Cara- 2:12

Tammi and Victor's bragging about their edge in knowing Chinese has yet to help them get ahead in their own country. They speak in Chinese to the ticket agents in the airport and tell them to put them up front and the rest in the back of the plane. Our parents would be so proud! Out first are Victor and Tammi, go figure, heading for their cab, but funny that, it is Jamie and Cara first at the roadblock, to get a foot massage. Cara tells us that she doesn't like people to touch her feet, but I'm thinking she's like, wow, finally a spa treatment, but it's more like spa torture. It's an ancient Chinese pressure foot massage which looked more like ancient Chinese torture. I was laughing out loud through the whole segment. My husband doesn't get it when I laugh out loud and there's no one else in the room. I can't help it. Laughing is like sneezing to me, you just have to let it out! Cara is writhing in pain, towel between her teeth. Next to arrive, Kisha and Jen. Kisha immediately says she wants to do it but then has second thoughts when she sees Cara in agony. Both looked hysterical with towels and hats between their teeth and screams of owwww! Tammi takes the pain in stoic Chinese style, although I thought her breathing looked more like she was doing Lamaze and birthing a baby. Come on Tammi just let that scream out! Luke ends up doing it, how does a hearing impaired scream? Jamie kept telling Cara you better not scream uncle which meant that she would have to do it all over. Who would want another 10 minutes of torture? Next it's on to a Natatorium which Jen correctly thought mean an aquatic gym. Here the detour is, Sync or Swim. Teams have to high dive in sync or swim 400 meters in a pool. Tammi and Victor are thinking the dive has got to be easy right? Wrong! I guess it does sound easy, but not so easy to sync. Kisha and Jen are having breakdowns since Jen doesn't know how to swim. Mom and son team are both experienced swimmers, but can't stand the Olympic style swimsuits that made them look like big eels.

First Kisha and Jen try the swim, hey we get to wear floaties, but then Jen has second thoughts, then they try to dive, but hey, if Tammi and Victor can't sync one dive what makes them think they can? They try to dive several times, and Tammi and Victor after what seemed like 30 dives decide to do the swim. Jamie and Cara are the first to finish and are praying that they will be the first to step on the mat and finally claim one first place finish. I was kinda hoping they would win their first, but Phil's like "Jamie and Cara, you're to first to arrive but you need to keep racing". Ah man! And I was so hoping that Kisha and Jen would be knock out this round. Looks like all teams get part two of this challenge. Right now, it's any body's game. -Single D

Amazing Race-Run A Fowl in China

Teams leave Bangkok Thailand-first out Margie and Luke at 9:36am, heading for Guilan, China through Guangzhou. I yell to my daughter, they're going to Guangzhou, China! Not that she would know that from Kalamazoo MI, but that was our last stop in the process of adopting her from China. I was hoping we'd get a glimpse of the city or at least the White Swan Hotel. Midget stunt guys, Mark and Michael haven't a chance to catch up with their four hour penalty from their last leg. Ouch! That's pretty stiff and I think so unfair. Tammi and Victor are in ethnic heaven, what with being Chinese and all. They think they have an advantage over the other teams being able to speak the language. Victor take a breath please! He just bugs me. The rush to the first clue box, Jen bumps Luke and Luke swats her like the pesky fly that she is. Jen and Luke get in a bi!ch fight where Luke signs the word. My daughter is like, gee now I know how to say that word in sign! Madison go to your room right NOW! The road block is the fishing cormorants. I saw this on the travel channel and was either slightly appalled or slightly awed. I couldn't decide. Poor birds all they want to do is eat the damn fish! Luke gets bit by the bird and acts like a girl. Tammi and Victor's birds must not have understood Chinese as they were the worst of the bunch.

Mark and Michael perform their speed bump, to wash two old Chinese ladies hair. They pile on the shampoo without even wetting the hair first. Mark is even giving his lady the massage treatment.

The detour is either choreography or calligraphy. I thought the calligraphy would be harder and everyone except Jamie and Cara do the dance routine, they are after all cheerleaders. They learn the dance but are frustrated that they are denied each time. What are we doing wrong Jamie whines! Finally after the 20th time, they realized that they had to do the routine twice. All the other teams meet at the calligraphy stations and mostly let Victor and Tammi lead the way since they know how to read Chinese characters, that was smart. With all teams finishing they race to the pit stop, where once again Luke and Jen get into a deaf-verbal shouting match. Margie really gets upset when Kisha starts to laugh like a 12 year old. By then I was getting mad at her too. I'd like to sign the B word to her too!

Of course we knew the midgets would get eliminated, no suspense there. Well, at least they made it this far. As for the race, well it's any one's game!-Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-Dueling Divas

Let me just get this off my chest. I can't stand Annie Duke. Three words for her, cutthroat, cutthroat, cutthroat! Is Annie's middle name, Sybil? In the boardroom she's all sugar and sweetness, but in the real world she's just plain wicked mean. And OMG what an ego. What was it that Joan said, "Annie you're not that smart, your ego is so beyond where you are." Wow, couldn't have said it better myself.

As you know Piers Morgan was called in to sort of referee the game playing between Annie and Joan. Piers comes in and tells Kotu bottom line, it's all about the $, so Melissa gets on the phone and starts calling. When Annie finds out that Natalie was trying to find a rival bidder against Annie, Annie went ballistic to put it mildly. When she went off on her friend about giving some names to Natalie, yelling and screaming one minute and then being all sweetness and honey the next, I just wanted to retch! That woman's head spins faster than Linda Blair in the Exorcist! And of course, Annie was the auctioneer for the jewelry show. That was a good choice, since Annie can strong arm people to reach deep in their pockets for the money. even though it looked like they really didn't want to. She looked like she was promising some of her high bidders a little action later by getting down on her knees. It's not about charity for Annie, it's just about winning. Guess that's why she's a good poker player.

When Joan's team went up for the auction, all I could think of was why wasn't Joan the auctioneer? Clint has about as much charisma as my big toe. Joan finally wised up and went out front to help get the auction going. Looked like the audience was filled with store bought dummies. Poor Ivanka, I did feel bad that no one was bidding on her jewelry, probably because they couldn't see it, or possibly because Clint had no idea what he was auctioning off. No Clint it's not earrings, it's a ring you fool!

In the end, no surprise, Annie's team won by a landslide. Donald did have to fault Joan for not buying the jewelry, told you, and for not emceeing which she does well, which by any episode would have gotten any PM fired. But Joan's just too good for TV to fire. I think it's Donald's plan to have, Joan, Melissa, Annie and Jesse as the final four with possibly a mother daughter run off or maybe a more shocking, Joan and Annie duel to the end. So the only choice for this firing is Natalie which the Donald lamely suggest that her choice of jewelry was the reason for their defeat, yeah but wasn't that Joan's fault for letting her pick the jewelry in the first place?

For the next challenge, it's come up with a creative frozen food dish for Swan's or is that Schwann's? Like the Schwanns in Barbara Streisand's Funny Girl? Jesse is finally a PM with Hershel as the PM for Kotu. On Kotu there isn't a cook among them. what celebrity does their own cooking? Hershel wants to do a chicken dish which Clint says his wife has a great soy chicken recipe which turns out too salty. Annie on the other side is making all the trial dishes and telling everyone how good she is. See how I cut that onion, look how I cook, see how wonderful I am, kiss, kiss! Annie wants the dish to be her turkey meatballs and gluten pasta (yuck, anything with the word gluten and I run screaming the other way!). In the end, what Annie wants, Annie gets. Jesse says the chili was the best and punctuates that with a fart. Sandra Bullock would be so proud! Jesse seems overwhelmed to be working with all the divas, so he keeps pretty much to himself and tries to keep the peace. The Schwann's reps liked the gluten pasta over the Asian chicken, boo! I hated that Annie won again! In the board room, Donald had little choice on who to fire. Certainly not Joan nor Clint, they make good TV drama. So it was mild manner Hershel sent walking out to the limo much to the tears of Joan. I hope Donald mixes up the teams next episode. For Joan and Annie, it's going to be the duel of the century, especially with Joan calling Annie a Hilter. I could think of other names for her, but Hitler suits her style of dictator leadership. -Single D