Celebrity Apprentice-LifeLock

This is the first time I have ever seen Donald Trump wear a patterned tie. He always wears monochromatic ties and Junior does the same. This segment is for the teams to create an advertisement board centered on Life Lock, you know the company that keeps your identity safe. Brian McKnight and Natalie are chosen as the PM's for this challenge. Natalie as it turns out seems to run things smoothly and calmly and isn't prone to hysterical outburst, but where's the drama or fun in that? Most of this week's episode was a yawner, with the only excitement being that Jesse got puking sick when he and Brandi were sent to the fabricators. Jesse is trying to get the board done while Brandi does what every blond airhead does in a machine shop, flirt with the guys. In the board room, it was Kotu that won the challenge with their funny banner that displayed their celebrity endorsements. Joan's idea of course. Joan is in hysterics because Annie is attempting to throw Melissa under the bus for Brandi and smashes her glass of champagne on the carpet. Typical celebrity fit throwing. Would you ever throw your glass down, not to mention waste good champagne? I would never throw a glass of champagne on my carpet. That would be a three hundred dollar carpet cleaner house call. Who can afford that? Joan anxiously awaits in the hall, but we all knew soft spoken Brian McKnight was exiting. As the Donald said, it seemed his game playing lost some of its punch and he really did want to leave the show. Everyone heads back to the apartment only to be called down to the boardroom for the Donald to announce that they were headed for another challenge. This one is a jewelry auction of Ivanka Trump's collection. Arch rivals, Annie and Joan are pitted against each other in this round. Annie crosses over the line to befriend Brandi much to the face twisting jealousy of Melissa. Melissa tries to tell Annie that she's really good at this challenge, because that's what she does (hello, same line from the previous 5 episodes), but Annie bestows that power on to the golden girl Brandi, because she knows all about beautiful women and you don't Melissa, so there! Poor Melissa, she looked like the homely girl picked last at the school yard pick. That's the way the balance of power sways. Go with whom has the most pull and it looks like Brandi is calling the shots on this one well until she gets into the department store, oh did I mention that she's going to be one of the models herself? Modesty at it's finest. Brandi forgets that it's a challenge, she's so mesmerized by all the beautiful gowns, now it's all about me right? At least Melissa got to pick the jewelry going up against Natalie for the best pieces. I'm sure Melissa has the edge on this one since her mother is a jewelry designer. Now why did Joan let Natalie pick out the jewelry? I know if Joan loses, the Donald will ask her that same question, since Joan designs and sells jewelry. And why did Joan let Clint and Hershel pick the models? Both guys looked like mischievous kids when the models came in. Ok guys close your mouths now!

Annie tells her team point blank that whoever brings in the least money will be on the chopping block. On the other side, poor Natalie is not good at asking her friends to belly up big bucks but comes up with a brilliant idea to find a donor (hey that sounds like some kind of transplant recipient) with deep pockets who is an enemy of Annie Duke to contribute big money against her. Wouldn't that be a tasty turn of events?

With Joan and Annie gunning for each other in this challenge, claws sharpened, the Donald sends in for ammunition and calls on Piers of the infamous Piers and Omorosa duel to oversee the cat fighting. Ah, let the scratching begin!-Single D

Amazing Race-Broken Record in Bangkok

9:27 pm-Tammi and Victor

12:31-Jamie and Cara

12:46-Michael and Mark

12:53-Margie and Luke

1:05-Kisha and Jen

All are on the same plane to Bangkok to race to a boat yard where they will find their next clue. Here they have to assemble and attach a propeller to their boat and hop in to find their next clue. Margie shows she has some muscle and does this challenge very quickly while Victor can't tell the difference between a wrench and a screwdriver. I guess that's why he's a lawyer and not a mechanic. Let's pause here, would you leave your stuff in the taxi and make him wait or take your stuff with you because you are after all getting into a boat and sailing off to your next challenge? Huh, huh, you tell me? Do you think you're going to come back?-isn't it likely that you will be proceeding on? Come on guys! Kisha and Jen are even so stupid as to leave their pack with their passports and cash on the dock. Hello! Michael and Mark bicker like a married couple on whether or not to go back and retrieve their packs from the cab with Michael telling Mark that he doesn't care about winning, it's just about his stuff, stuff that can be replaced once they win!

The detour was broken teeth or broken record. Didn't they do that teeth challenge before? Here Margie and Luke were the only ones to do the broken teeth, trying to fit dentures into the mouths of toothless Asians (I think some of them were my relatives!). Hey were those the personal dentures mixed in with other people's dentures? Ugh, or as my friend Jeff said, it is Asia after all. Yeah, not great on that hygiene thing there. Poor Luke, he was all mixed up on how the dentures were supposed to go. It was pretty frightening to see a bowl full of teeth. Hey Luke, there is a difference between lower and upper dentures. Thankfully his mother knew what she was doing.

All other teams chose to do the broken record thing. Mark and Michael are sounding like a broken record themselves with them fighting with each other like rabid squirrels. Mark finally gets the upper hand and tells Michael that they need to go back to the cab and get their stuff because he has irreplaceable in his backpack. They spend so much money traveling in cabs that they have to give away personal trinkets (I'm wondering if some of it was Mark's irreplaceables?) to the taxi drives for not having enough money.

For the singing cab rides, the teams were joined by the local Thai hookers or transvestites. Mark actually thought they were cute, oh hello they're men!

I thought Kisha and Jen's idea of finishing the detour and then go back to get their stuff was a brilliant idea, not! Jeff, that party pooper told them that they had to get their packs with their travel documents before he could check them in. I thought surely they are a goner, but M & M came racing in, packs in tow only to find out they incurred 2- two hour penalties for using their own personal items as payment for cab rides. OUCH! What dummies! I think they better bone up on the rules before they start their next leg which they will gratefully participate in since this was a non-elimination round for them. They will however, have a 3 hour delay at the start and will have to do the speed bump. Let's just say they haven't a chance in Thailand to catch up unless another team is dumb and dumber.-Single D

Anthony Bourdain & the Worst Meal Ever!

It was another Sunday when I caught Anthony Bourdain in Namibia. This should be good, anything in Africa promises to be an adventure in dining. Here Tony and the bushman are hunting for their breakfast. No quick stop to the local Starbucks or Mickey D's. Nope, it's dry as dust, what could they possibly be hunting for? Why ostrich eggs of course. Tony has a pang of sympathy (for their meager find) which probably should have lasted a lot longer so he could have come to his senses and bowed out of breakfast with the Bushman, leaving them to consume their precious find, but where's the adventure in that? The Bushman tell Tony that they are going to make breakfast right there on the spot. Humm, says Tony? Right here? Not a kettle or pot within 200 miles. Patience, wait for it. Apparently the Bushman are experts at the spontaneous. They quickly heat the ground with their coals. Carefully they make a hole at the top of the ostrich egg, poke a stick through it to scramble the contents. After the sand is sufficiently hot, they flatten the dirt out in a nice circle. Yikes, where's the fry pan I gasp! The Bushman dump the contents of the egg onto the dirt and then proceed to cover the eggs with more dirt and wood. Ugh! Tony is amazingly calm during all this dirt cooking. I would be retching in the bush. What seems like an interminable amount of time to cook for god sakes, it's just eggs Tony says, the Bushman uncover their meal, a baked dirt frittata. They pry pieces of the ash covered eggs, never you mind that it is covered in ash, dirt and whatever dung might be on the land and eat with relish. Tony however is trying to dust his piece off, what's a little grit among friends? Arguably possibly the worst meal I have ever seen on this show! But wait there's more. A warthog dinner is next to what Tony calls his worst meal ever. Tony goes hunting again, a lot of hunting on this episode, where he actually kills the poor creature. Here he gets to sample some of the more juicy parts of the warthog, namely the rectum and brains. When Tony says the tree beetles were the best thing he ate all day, you know it had to be bad. We don't get to see Tony ralph but I'm sure it was on his mind. And when Tony says it's bad, it's got to be bad. Move over Andrew Zimmern!-Single D