Amazing Race-Run A Fowl in China

Teams leave Bangkok Thailand-first out Margie and Luke at 9:36am, heading for Guilan, China through Guangzhou. I yell to my daughter, they're going to Guangzhou, China! Not that she would know that from Kalamazoo MI, but that was our last stop in the process of adopting her from China. I was hoping we'd get a glimpse of the city or at least the White Swan Hotel. Midget stunt guys, Mark and Michael haven't a chance to catch up with their four hour penalty from their last leg. Ouch! That's pretty stiff and I think so unfair. Tammi and Victor are in ethnic heaven, what with being Chinese and all. They think they have an advantage over the other teams being able to speak the language. Victor take a breath please! He just bugs me. The rush to the first clue box, Jen bumps Luke and Luke swats her like the pesky fly that she is. Jen and Luke get in a bi!ch fight where Luke signs the word. My daughter is like, gee now I know how to say that word in sign! Madison go to your room right NOW! The road block is the fishing cormorants. I saw this on the travel channel and was either slightly appalled or slightly awed. I couldn't decide. Poor birds all they want to do is eat the damn fish! Luke gets bit by the bird and acts like a girl. Tammi and Victor's birds must not have understood Chinese as they were the worst of the bunch.

Mark and Michael perform their speed bump, to wash two old Chinese ladies hair. They pile on the shampoo without even wetting the hair first. Mark is even giving his lady the massage treatment.

The detour is either choreography or calligraphy. I thought the calligraphy would be harder and everyone except Jamie and Cara do the dance routine, they are after all cheerleaders. They learn the dance but are frustrated that they are denied each time. What are we doing wrong Jamie whines! Finally after the 20th time, they realized that they had to do the routine twice. All the other teams meet at the calligraphy stations and mostly let Victor and Tammi lead the way since they know how to read Chinese characters, that was smart. With all teams finishing they race to the pit stop, where once again Luke and Jen get into a deaf-verbal shouting match. Margie really gets upset when Kisha starts to laugh like a 12 year old. By then I was getting mad at her too. I'd like to sign the B word to her too!

Of course we knew the midgets would get eliminated, no suspense there. Well, at least they made it this far. As for the race, well it's any one's game!-Single D

Celebrity Apprentice-Dueling Divas

Let me just get this off my chest. I can't stand Annie Duke. Three words for her, cutthroat, cutthroat, cutthroat! Is Annie's middle name, Sybil? In the boardroom she's all sugar and sweetness, but in the real world she's just plain wicked mean. And OMG what an ego. What was it that Joan said, "Annie you're not that smart, your ego is so beyond where you are." Wow, couldn't have said it better myself.

As you know Piers Morgan was called in to sort of referee the game playing between Annie and Joan. Piers comes in and tells Kotu bottom line, it's all about the $, so Melissa gets on the phone and starts calling. When Annie finds out that Natalie was trying to find a rival bidder against Annie, Annie went ballistic to put it mildly. When she went off on her friend about giving some names to Natalie, yelling and screaming one minute and then being all sweetness and honey the next, I just wanted to retch! That woman's head spins faster than Linda Blair in the Exorcist! And of course, Annie was the auctioneer for the jewelry show. That was a good choice, since Annie can strong arm people to reach deep in their pockets for the money. even though it looked like they really didn't want to. She looked like she was promising some of her high bidders a little action later by getting down on her knees. It's not about charity for Annie, it's just about winning. Guess that's why she's a good poker player.

When Joan's team went up for the auction, all I could think of was why wasn't Joan the auctioneer? Clint has about as much charisma as my big toe. Joan finally wised up and went out front to help get the auction going. Looked like the audience was filled with store bought dummies. Poor Ivanka, I did feel bad that no one was bidding on her jewelry, probably because they couldn't see it, or possibly because Clint had no idea what he was auctioning off. No Clint it's not earrings, it's a ring you fool!

In the end, no surprise, Annie's team won by a landslide. Donald did have to fault Joan for not buying the jewelry, told you, and for not emceeing which she does well, which by any episode would have gotten any PM fired. But Joan's just too good for TV to fire. I think it's Donald's plan to have, Joan, Melissa, Annie and Jesse as the final four with possibly a mother daughter run off or maybe a more shocking, Joan and Annie duel to the end. So the only choice for this firing is Natalie which the Donald lamely suggest that her choice of jewelry was the reason for their defeat, yeah but wasn't that Joan's fault for letting her pick the jewelry in the first place?

For the next challenge, it's come up with a creative frozen food dish for Swan's or is that Schwann's? Like the Schwanns in Barbara Streisand's Funny Girl? Jesse is finally a PM with Hershel as the PM for Kotu. On Kotu there isn't a cook among them. what celebrity does their own cooking? Hershel wants to do a chicken dish which Clint says his wife has a great soy chicken recipe which turns out too salty. Annie on the other side is making all the trial dishes and telling everyone how good she is. See how I cut that onion, look how I cook, see how wonderful I am, kiss, kiss! Annie wants the dish to be her turkey meatballs and gluten pasta (yuck, anything with the word gluten and I run screaming the other way!). In the end, what Annie wants, Annie gets. Jesse says the chili was the best and punctuates that with a fart. Sandra Bullock would be so proud! Jesse seems overwhelmed to be working with all the divas, so he keeps pretty much to himself and tries to keep the peace. The Schwann's reps liked the gluten pasta over the Asian chicken, boo! I hated that Annie won again! In the board room, Donald had little choice on who to fire. Certainly not Joan nor Clint, they make good TV drama. So it was mild manner Hershel sent walking out to the limo much to the tears of Joan. I hope Donald mixes up the teams next episode. For Joan and Annie, it's going to be the duel of the century, especially with Joan calling Annie a Hilter. I could think of other names for her, but Hitler suits her style of dictator leadership. -Single D