Tila Tequila-Shot at Love 2-It's a Sweet Trip to the Tattoo Shop Not!

Oh my gosh! It's a field trip to the tattoo shop. More like a trip to the nightmare shop! Here Tila treats her would be lovers to a little shop of horrors, tattoos, piercings, a walk on broken glass and an electric chair. The remaining would be suitors need to prove their love by taking on one of these modern day chamber of horror stunts. I would be like, "see ya"! How could anyone in their right mind even propose such a thing and how could a contestant even consent to it? Oh right, it's shock TV, I forgot! Brittany is the first one to pipe up that she would get a tattoo and then when put on the spot, gets a serious case of the "I can't go through with it", good girl, your mother would be proud as she slinks back to her chair. Georgie is eyeing the broken glass box and is willing to cut his feet in the name of love and bravely kicks off his shoes. George steps on the broken glass and is squealing in pain, glass shards piercing his feet. When he makes it to the other side he quickly looks at his feet crying out that they are cut. When Lisa looks at them, she says it's not cut and there's no blood, but the pain is so intense for George, the medics placate him by putting on a bandage on his toe, is that better? Good boy, now go get yourself a Popsicle. Tila then says she wants to try the glass and kicks off her high heels and quickly walks across it. I guess wearing stilettos makes your feet callous. She makes it to the other side where she pronounces with girlish glee that the glass is fake. Ya you heard me fake, fake, fake! George got himself so hyped up, that he imagined it hurt and cut his feet. Hey the mind is a terrible thing to waste. Christy says she wants a star behind her ear. I must say it was very dainty and behind the ear, which could be hidden. Good thinking. Bo steps up and tells Tila that he wants the shot glass tattoo. Are you kidding me? Hey Bo, you'll have that stupid shot glass when you're 86! Of course, Jersey doesn't have an original thought in his head and follows in Bo's shot glass step and gets one as well. Lisa decides to do the electric chair and gets her electric groove on. It looked like she was enjoying it! Brittany meanwhile is mad that everyone out did her so she decides to get her belly pierced. Now, she claims she's deathly afraid of needles, yet she chooses the one thing that looks the most painful and hey what about that lip ring you have already? Christy gets the single date and a shopping trip to the lingerie store, now that's a reward! The rest gets the dirty date, donning white underwear, which George liked a little too much, smearing paint and rolled around it in. Ok, that's not my thing, who wants blue paint in their hair? The final challenge is a hot dog challenge, but since Bo can't eat anything solid, it's a blender shake of hot dogs, buns and condiments, yuck! Lisa once again is an animal and wins, but again, she takes on that tough girl attitude and turns Tila off. At the elimination, it's not enough for Lisa to apologize and Lisa is left key less along with Georgie. It was time for George to go, he just doesn't have that killer instinct and is the Domenico of this season. Hey, MTV don't even think about making a bachelor out of George, he's just doesn't not have that X factor.-Single D

Hell's Kitchen-Looney Tunes by Matt

This episode, Chef sends Jen back to the girls team and Matt back to the guys team. Neither side is happy with the switch. At 6 am the blindfolded group finds themselves on the roof top of Chef Ramsay's new LA eatery London West Hollywood. It is here that he announces that the teams will merge. For their first individual challenge each person is assigned one item, Petrozza-chicken, Matt-veal, Christina-sea bass, Corey-lobster, Jen-beef and Bobby-duck. Pretty much everyone did really well, but Chef chooses Jen's paper thin rib eye as the winner. Chef likes her dish so much that he's going to put it on the dinner menu. For her reward she gets to chose one person to accompany her. She choses Corey, which Matt says it's like pairing a cobra with a mongoose. So it's off to Las Vegas, baby! to see last season's winner, Roc at Green Valley Ranch at his Terra Verde restaurant. What a nice gig. The girls get a gorgeous suite with their very own bath and their very own swimming pool. Must be nice! The rest of the group gets the delivery punishment, carrying heavy supplies into the restaurant. Matt complains non-stop getting on everyone's last nerve. Bobby says Matt is like a full metal jacket when he's pissed. Matt definitely needs some anger management classes. He's so looney, he's one fork short of a set, he's the missing knife in the butcher block, he can't find his beans and franks with both hands (as Jeffie would say), there's a cuckoo missing in the clock, he forgot to take the out to lunch sign off his head, ok, he's just plain psycho and lives in the land of twilight zone, cue music.

Chef Ramsay must know that Matt is really getting to Christina and pairs them up together on the meat station for the dinner service. Pretty much dinner service is a disaster with Christina and Bobby mixing meats while cooking them, like cooking the salmon with the chicken? Corey loses it on the vegetable station, how hard is it to cook green beans? And again Matt is out in left field, not understanding the simplest English instruction, 2 rib eye, 1 chicken, 2 wellingtons!! Matt's brain has left the building and Matt tells Chef he has a migraine, no Matt, it's not a migraine, you need a brain for that! Hey Matt, you've given us a migraine! Chef is so frustrated he sends everyone out of the kitchen. Gee, I wondered who finished the cooking for the customers? JP? He says for them to come back when they have nominated two for elimination. When Chef ask who they chose, Petrozza says Matt and when Chef ask Corey who else, Corey says Christina, but offers herself because she failed on veggies. Chef calls all three up and brings the chef knife down on Matt. In the end, Chef recites poetry as we see Matt walk off without his chef coat-

"There once was a boy named Matt, whose performance fell flat. He was terrible on meat, it was no easy feat, and so he's gone and that's that!" or something like that!-Single D

The Mole-Premiere

It's been a few years since the Mole has been on. Last time they had D-lister celebrities, like Kathy Griffen and Steven Baldwin, which made for good mindless entertainment. This time around it's your ordinary reality show groupie and do I really want to watch them? It's like who cares! In this premiere episode, they jump, literally off a waterfall in Los Angeles, Chile. Who knew, there's a Los Angeles in Chile? The stunt was kinda like a combination river rafting and bungee jumping and definitely not for the faint of heart. The whole premise to this reality show is the last one standing wins the money, or whoever outs the mole, or if the mole outwits everyone, then they win. The money is accumulated by stunts completed and performed which can or cannot be subverted by the mole. Every episode ends with a quiz and the one that answers the most questions wrong are executed. I'm wondering, since we are never given the answers, how do we really know which contestant answered the most questions wrong? At this point it is pretty hypothetical since all the questions are about who they think the mole is. Since it is so early in the season it is just a guessing game at this point, but immediately the group is targeting Marcie as the mole. Already there are some primadonnas emerging, especially one in particular, Dr. Nicole, who refused to sleep outside in a sleeping bag and stayed awake in the cabin all night. Gee, let's see, be totally tired from not sleeping all night, or sleep outside in a sleeping bag, which would you do? The raft over the falls netted the group 6 bags of money. The contestants range from young to 60. I'm thinking Liz (the 60 year old) meant to audition for the Price is Right, but ended up on ABC 's casting call. The next challenge was to find items strew over the beach for items that Cruseo would have had on a stranded island in 1704. Basically, a pretty lame challenge, with the scavengers, appraisers and the timekeepers roles assigned to the group. This challenge netted the group $5,000 to total $35,000. At the end it is Marcie that is executed and if this show doesn't become more intrigueing I might have to execute it myself-sorry no Mole pictures!-Single D

The Bachelorette-Duds and Dudes

It's out of the outhouse and into the penthouse for Paul, Graham, and again, Jeremy! Jeremy is getting on my last nerve! It's funny how different men and women act in this situation. The girls are just raving mad lunatics but when the guys get together, it's more like a fraternity of men, cavemen around the fire, a truly bonding experience. If Jeremy wasn't there, there would be no drama among the guys. I loved it how when the three guys went up to the house, everyone was letting their imaginations run wild...Jesse-"she'll be in the pool or hot tub, looking good in her bikini" as all the guys wistfully sigh! The date card arrives and it's Richard that is chosen, yikes! Could be good, could be bad, more bad I'm thinking. Richard's date is a romantic dinner atop of one of LA's tallest buildings. During dinner, Richard is more into science teacher mode than romantic bachelor mode. Poor guy! After dinner it's a Cinderella carriage ride, yes DeAnna, it's Cinderella that you are trying to say. I think she was really distracted on how to dump poor Richard, that the conversation totally took a nose dive, yet Richard kept talking to the camera on how this was the most wonderful date. Hello? Could he not tell by the body language? The whole carriage ride was awkward and stiff, so much so, that it looked like DeAnna just spontaneously told the driver, STOP! Get him outta here! Poor guy, he was told to go roseless and just let off on some LA street. Good thing there was a cab nearby. Boy what a way to get dumped! And he seemed like such a nice guy. Meanwhile back at the outhouse all the other guys except Jason get to go on the group date to a dude ranch. Love a guy in a cowboy hat! The guys learn to line dance and Graham might look hot at the beach, but it looks like he has two left boots when line dancing. What would be a dude ranch be without the customary mechanical bull ride? DeAnna tricks the guys by falling off and pretending to hurt herself to see who would rush to her rescue. Everyone rushes in but Ron, left standing on the sidelines. He's all like thinking how much could you hurt yourself on a padded, inflatable cushion? Jesse was the best at the bull and won alone time with DeAnna revealing some of his serious side, didn't know he had one, can a guy be truely serious sporting a page boy haircut? Back at the campfire, the guys start ramming their horns, with Ron going after Jeremy. Hey, I don't blame him, Jeremy is really getting slimy with all his monopolizing of DeAnna's time. Robert is getting frustrated and tells DeAnna what he feels. She in return gives him the rose for his honesty. In the end, the guys being guys, start singing "Home on the Range"-hey guys, keep your day job.

For Jason's single date, DeAnna has them picked up by helicopter much to the jealousy of the others as they go off to Griffith Park Observatory to see the stars. What a great date. Jason wants to tell DeAnna he has a son, Ty, but wants it to come up naturally in conversation, so at dinner Jason says, I have a kid, could you pass me the bread? DeAnna takes it very well and Jason quickly turns the conversation to her mother, good diversion. We get to hear all about the passing of her mother which was very heart wrenching. For his honesty, Jason gets the date rose. I'm just wondering if DeAnna rewards for honesty or for her feelings? At the elimination, DeAnna tells Jason that she had a star named after Ty which was very sweet. Next day DeAnna and the guys head for Hollywood where they are guest on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ellen makes the guys drop their pants for a look see at the Ellen shorts. Ellen got to pick (with the help of DeAnna) the guy for the rose and their choice was Fred. Up until this point, I was like Fred who?

The night of the elimination, DeAnna ask Ron for some one on one and Ron begins by saying that in the morning he felt like she was not the girl for him, but that after he heard her talk about wanting the guys to be honest, he suddenly got the "DeAnnas", does that translate into the warm and fuzzies? You could tell DeAnna was not impressed and that she pretty much made up her mind to get rid of him. I think there was no love loss on both their parts and it was goodbye Ron and Paul. Poor Paul, she just ate him up and the spit him out, his heart broken and all!-Single D

Again we are subjected to the whole DeAnna/Brad thing, I guess ABC doesn't think their audiences remember why the bachelorette is or maybe they have a deal with Brad to pay him every time they show it. Anyway, Richard gets the first one on one date. Roof top dining with a stunning view of LA. When talk turned to shooting stars, it looked like the romance would start but then Richard the science teacher came out. DeAnna is saying how neat the shooting stars are and Richard tells her it's just space junk. Way to kill the moment Rich! DeAnna looked like she wanted to be anywhere but on that date. I guess that is what it would be like to be on a date with your brother. She finally had enough and during the carriage ride, gives Richard the boot.

The group date, everyone except Jason gets to play cowboy on a dude ranch. Brian says he will have to impress DeAnna somehow maybe by roping a chicken. Let's see, Brian in a cowboy hat and some rope, um.....nevermind. The guys learn to line dance, not bad, not good but not bad. After the dancing came the mechanical bull. Now that looks like fun. Jesse earns a little alone time with DeAnna after he was the first to come to her rescue after she fakes a fall. Jesse takes the opportunity to show her his serious side. How do you take a pro-snowboarder serious? And, like Single D said, with a page boy hair cut, it's hard to see the serious side.

Back at the camp fire, it is evident that Ron & Jeremy are not the best of friends. They get into a head butt moment with Ron telling Jeremy there is something off about him. Yea there is, he's a slime ball! The others agree with Ron but not in front of Jeremy. Jeremy ends up with even more alone time with DeAnna but Fred and Graham put a stop to it by busting in on them sending Jeremy back to the camp fire. Fred finally gets a little face time with DeAnna while Graham stands by cracking jokes. Robert decides he has to jump in and tell DeAnna that he wants to see if there is something there since he told the guys he doesn't want to take up a spot if there isn't a chance for him. What a guy! You know none of the women on the bachelor would EVER do that! Robert's initiative earns him a rose from DeAnna and the other guys seemed genuinely happy for him.

DeAnna takes Jason on a helicopter ride to an observatory where they watch the sunset and have a candle light dinner. Over dinner, Jason finally tells DeAnna about his son. She didn't freak out so he brought out the pictures and talked about Ty for awhile before asking DeAnna about her family. They had quite the bonding moment talking about their families with DeAnna telling him about her mother's death. DeAnna gives Jason the rose and they head up to the telescope to scope out the stars. I would have never thought of an observatory as romantic but those two made me a believer. Maybe it was the music.

DeAnna takes the guys to meet Ellen DeGeneres. I love Ellen, she cracks me up! I would love to go and see her show. Maybe someday, meanwhile, it's on at 3pm! Ellen gives DeAnna advise on the guys, asks them a few questions and, in true Ellen fashion, has them drop their pants to reveal their Ellen boxers. After a dance off, Ellen gives Fred a rose for his adorable dancing.

Before the rose ceremony Ron tries to save himself but falls flat and Jeremy, once again, moves in and steals DeAnna. Graham got in there and opened up a little making DeAnna want to keep him around a little longer. Send him home girl, the only way he is going to open up is with a can opener! It's probably in the editing, but Sean, Brian and Paul didn't even try to get any alone time with DeAnna. What's wrong with them, do they think they will get by on their looks (as good as they may be)?

In the end, Paul and Ron are sent home. No surprise about Ron but I really thought she would send home Sean before Paul. Paul looked heart broken while Ron was giving himself a pep talk on the way out saying he didn't fail, she just picked someone else. Keep telling yourself that Ron! Double D

Tila Tequila-Shot at Love 2-It's a Sweet Trip to the Candy Shop

This time the challenge is a jello pool wrestling match in the cherry pit. Winning team, what else alone time with Tila. Glitter graciously chooses Bo even tho he can't play because of his injury. This time the green team comes up winners and for Glitter, Bo and Brittany it's a trip to Tila's candyland store. As Glitter gets her alone time with Tila, things heat up between them, while the rest of the group watch while sucking on their lollipops, humm? The losers get a treat to the candy shop as well, and what do children usually end up doing with their food? Why throw it of course, food fight. Like I said before, it seems like the losers get the better gig than the winners. But the food fight fun comes to a halt when den mother Tila comes in and tells them that they have to clean up their mess. Fun sucker! Next it's the stay or go game ("should I stay or should I go", isn't that a song?), where they are asked questions by Tila on who would make a better partner for Tila. Everyone voted to send Bo packing much to his surprise. I'm thinking that maybe they feel sorry for him and his injury and he should go home to heal up the jaw. Bo and Tila are thinking that they really want Bo out. Bo's hurt as he really is the nice guy of the bunch. Come on Bo, it's a game! Of course they want the best guy out of the house. Remember, nice guys finish last. Glitter refuses to play as she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Ok, a second come on! Why does she act all surprised that she has to play these dumb games. Didn't she watch the first season? I'm wondering when Glitter cries over and over, doesn't that glitter eyeshadow get in the eyes? After that it's another pool party and to show Tila that she's fun and spontaneous, Glitter gets her naked on and jumps in the pool san suit. Of course Jersey can't let anyone show him up and he does the same thing. Jersey being his old obnoxious self, ruin's Bo one on one time with Tila. I'm wondering why Tila hasn't seen through Jersey and send him packing?

During the elimination, Lisa gets a freebie and is safe from elimination. Looks like that girl's here to stay. Glitter is given her walking papers along with Scotty, guess the jump in the pool with no clothes on didn't save her. We knew those two wouldn't make it all the way, in fact I think think they make a better couple. Maybe they should hook up? Anyway this thing can't end fast enough. Where's the excitement, the intrigue, the surprises, the make me laugh till my sides ache, oh ya, I forgot, we've all been through this before.-Single D