What No Halloween?

Last year when my daughter said that she might not want to go Trick or Treating, I ignored this statement thinking what does a 9 year old know of making memories that will last a lifetime? This year, she is making this statement with more veracity and frequency so much so, that this time I had to squash that thought once and for all. What no Halloween I said? No, maybe I'll give candy this year, she said. What? You'll have an entire decades to give candy once you hit teendom I counter. But I don't like Halloween she says! What! What kid doesn't like Halloween? What's not to like? The one time of year when your parents let you dress up in crazy outfits, gives in to that red glitter hair spray and black nail polish, and lets you eat all the candy you want? But I don't like the spookiness of it all, she whines! Get tough I counter! All this while I fondly reminisce of Halloweens past. At our house, we always eat a dinner that is quick to prepare and quick to stuff down so we can be out the door before the first trick or treaters ring our bell. We always look for the crowds of kids so our daughter and her friends will have a gang to run with. We always insist on going to each and every house that have decorations or lights. We always carry extra plastic grocery bags should her bag get too heavy with candy, which is a sure indication that we are in the money! And we always, always go to every adjacent neighborhood near our house, never quite happy until we have filled our bags brimming with candy, even if our dogs (feet) hurt! When we come home, exhausted with the delirium of collecting sweets, we empty our booty on the dining room table and do the candy selection. This time honored tradition I'm sure is played out in every house across America. A careful process of selecting which candies we like the best, throwing out the hard cheap stuff and piling our treasures in our respective piles. Madison likes Snickers and Milky Ways. Andy likes anything chocolate and me I like laffy taffy in any flavor except grape. My daughter says that grape is the most disgusting flavor in the universe. So when my daughter says, no trick or treating this year, we say, not in your life! Where else can I get to wear my pink wig, daddy his skeleton shirt and eat free candy till Easter!-Single D

Survivor Gabon-New Tribes

Ok, last night my daughter said she needed to watch the TV in the family room (it has a vcr) so I had to watch Survivor on the big screen in HD. All I can say is Wow! It was like watching Planet Earth. Every crusty piece of dirt can be seen on the survivors, like gamer boy being all bitten up by bugs all over his body. Hope he got his malaria shots! Finally on Fong tribe there is an alliance forming between gamer boy, Crystal, Matty and Dan. But too little too late as there is a call to meet with Jeff Probst. He tells the tribes to rank each member of their group 1 being the best 8 being the least favorite, ouch! Just like high school. I was surprised that Professor Bob wasn't ranked first on the Kota tribe but that honor was given to Marcus. Randy was snug in his third place ranking on the Fong tribe with poor Susan bringing up the rear. I guess old people don't have a chance on these reality shows. Once ranked, Jeff tells them the unsettling news that they will be splitting into two new tribes with Marcus and Matty leading picks. Last one standing was poor Sugar and again she was sent to exile to await a spot on a tribe that will be sent to tribal council. I was really shocked that gamer boy had the good sense not to chose the one Ace wanted and chose Kelly instead. Just goes to show that gamer boy does have a brain after all! Maybe playing video games isn't all that bad as my daughter keeps trying to tell me. Meanwhile, Sugar on exile is enjoying her comfort time in the Sugar shack for a 4 day retreat. How nice! I think she got the best deal of all. The survivors in the immunity water polo challenge were totally useless. They could have been legless and armless for all this challenge was worth. The only one who could do anything was Marcus, go figure, looks and brawn! Yum! I always use one word when I am correcting a story or paragraph that my daughter has badly written, that word would apply here when describing Fong's attempt to win-WEAK! What is the matter with those guys! Back at camp, GC does alot of talking smack, especially calling out Kelly's ineffective playing, when GC's the one who always gives up. The Survivor's trailer was like the three blonds pitted against each other which failed to live up to the hype. At tribal council, Crystal got her head in a z snap when she tried to defend her game playing. Oh hello! Looked like Crystal did alot of sitting on the sidelines to me. Oh that girl can get in your face! In the end, I think it was a good move to vote Jackie out, since now gamer boy can say they saved Kelly and hopefully salvage Fong when Sugar comes back and aligns with Ace and the immunity idol.-Single D

Project Runway-My Gawd-Is Kenley Still There?

I had this recurring dream er more like a nightmare. I'm watching Project Runway and thinking with every episode that Kenley is eliminated only to find her at the runway show with Heidi exclaiming that some feathery thing she concocted was crazy good. Oh my God! Was that for real?! Yep it was little doggie. She's still there with her spanky attitude in check (spanky is Korto's word for her). One hitch to progressing on to Bryant Park is to create a wedding gown and bridesmaid dress for the elimination round. $8,000 dollars and a month later we find the designers at home when Tim comes to call. Can you imagine that Korto lives in Arkansas? Poor thing. And what perfect place should we find Leanne at? Why Oregon of course. I just knew she had to be some sort of borderline tree hugging girl of nature, which she says her inspiration was the waves on the ocean. Seems nice, but must every garment have those same pleats? Didn't her boyfriend look like some sort of nerdy English professor? And of course Kenley would be where else, Brooklyn. When Tim made the stop at Jerrell's to see his collection, I thought he was stopping at a costume shop. What was up with all this glitter and trashy glam? I knew right there Jerrell was not going to make it. I did feel bad since his mama has so much faith in him.

When the designers come back to NY, I loved the cool reception that Kenley got. Everyone before were like hugging and kissing after not seeing each other for a month, but when Kenley entered a cold frosty wind swept through. I think Jerrell was the only one to say hi. Things did melt a bit after Kenley apologized, but that still doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I totally hate to admit it, but I did like her swan hatching from an egg wedding dress even if it looked like a copy of some other designer and if she did plagiarize, shouldn't she be packing her bags? Her little navy bridesmaid dress was too cute and I just hate saying that! By far the best wedding dress was Leanne's. It was a dreamy concoction of layered folds of clouds of whipped cream. I think the contest will be between Kenley and Leanne. Some of Korto's outfits have missed the mark especially her wedding dress which was more like Oscar gown gone wrong. And Jerrell's sloppy Cinderella flower pot dress was just two words-God Auful! And with that Jerrell was aufed! Hey does Jerrell still get to show at Bryant Park since there are pictures of him and his collection on Bravo? -Single D

Ghost Hunters - Florida

TAPS goes to the Sunshine State for this episode. First up is the Seven Sisters Inn in Ocala, FL. There are two buildings to the inn, the purple house and the pink house, and it is built on a Seminole Indian battle ground. Sounds like a hot spot to me! Reports are the usual full body apparitions along with shadow people and objects moving. One of the employees says she saw a man sitting in a chair and when she turned around he was gone but came back and picked up the chair and threw it over her head. Then she tells a story of when she tripped down the stairs when something grabbed her shirt and hauled her back up the stairs. I'm thinking she is hitting the bottle at work!

J & G are in the purple house for a couple of minutes when they hear footsteps and whispering. They have their trusty K2 meter and something keeps lighting it up in response to Jason asking it to light it up. They send in Kris & Tango who also hear the footsteps right away.

In the pink house, Jason takes off his flip flops at the bottom of the stairs to see if he can whatever it is to push him down the stairs. At the top of the stairs, he sees a shadow dart past him. There have been reports of a small child seen at the top of the stairs. Jason comes back down to put on his flip flops and finds one of them missing. J & G search the whole house and finally find the wayward flip flop in the middle of the last room they search. Looks like the shadow kid wanted to play hide and seek.

That was pretty much it at the inn. Nothing was found on audio or video but Jason still says there is "something" going on.

It's on to St. Petersburg, FL and the Renaissance Vinoy Resort. Built in 1925 this was the "in" place to stay for the stars. Now, major league baseball players who play the Tampa Bay Rays stay here. The ball players all refuse to stay on the fifth floor unless they buddy up. Some reports are full body apparitions and footsteps in the ballroom. The team is able to spend the night on the fifth floor without any other guests which will make their investigation much easier.

Jason takes a room that has had the most activity. As they are checking their camera hookups, Jason notices the closet door in his room is open. After rewinding the tape, they find that the ironing board had fallen opening the closet door. Now they couldn't leave it alone so J & G go to the room and test the ironing board. Grant gets in the closet and tips the board against the door, it doesn't open. Not until Grant gives the ironing board a good shove does it finally open the door. They both agree it could not have done that on it's own.

Jason's room continues to be active through the night. He hears voices which wake him up. The voices are caught on tape and Jason says it sound like "just leave here." That probably would have done it for me! The team says that whatever is there isn't dangerous but just wants it's presence known. Double D

Dancing with the Stars-Fake Boobs, Underwear and Broken Ankles

Ok, did anyone take notice the other night of Susan Lucci's obviously enormously fake bosoms? They were the dominate feature of her outfit and of her dance that my daughter said I can't stop looking at them (and she's 10). I said yeah I know. The twin sisters were just too prominent to miss and competed for air time. Yep, they won. What a bad boob job and she can afford the best. If I were her I'd want a refund. They even mesmerized the judges, especially Len, that dirty old man! Speaking of Len, he is getting on my last nerve. He has beaten down one of the better teams of Lacey and Lance so much, that their routine was so whitewashed and insipid I was like who are these people? I love, love, love Lacey's style and her routines are fresh and contemporary, but they succumbed to Len's critical comments and tried to dance the way he wanted, only for him to come back and say that Lance was clopping around flat footed. No winning for trying, I say, do your own thing girl! I don't think Cloris Leachman will get eliminated. We just want to keep her around for the entertainment value. But please can we not see anymore crotch shots with her legs up over her head! That is just wrong. Poor Cloris, Corky throws her around like she weighs a ton, a sack of dead weight. She's about as light as a sinking ship. Cloris and Corky, sounds like a morning talk show.

My daughter really liked Cody Linley's hair although I think he looks too young like he's all of what twelve? He's way too young looking and way too skinny. Poor Julianne, she probably weighs more that he does. He dances alright, but he just doesn't do it for me. He's still in potty training.

Football player, Warren Sapp is so light on his feet. He's like an elephant in a tutu. When I see him dance it's like watching Disney's Fantasia all over again. Not to mention that he's just downright lovable. I'm surprised there aren't Warren Sapp teddy bears yet.

Misty May had to bow out of the competition after snapping her Achilles tendon. When they did the replay of the practice you could hear it actually snap like a bony twig. Well, being the athlete that she is, I don't think she had a chance of winning. She was just all legs and lean stiff torso, good for volleyball, but not for the dance floor. My only dismay is that Maxim will not be dancing and I just love to watch him. He's so charming, I could watch him all evening, sigh!

Brooke Burke proved that she's perfect again! Hate her! I'm sure she's already looking for a place to hang that mirror ball in her house. -Single D

Apprentice UK - Update

Apparently CNBC has opted to drop The Apprentice UK for Deal or No Deal. Now I ask you, what is more exciting, watching people pick suitcases or watching people back stab, throw each other under that proverbial bus and generally make fools of themselves?! I know which one I want to see. So I'm mad at CNBC for getting our appetites wet for The Apprentice then dropping it. If anyone out there has seen it online, please let me know because it would be such a let down to just go online to see who the winner was without seeing how they got there. Double D

Amazing Race-Dimwits in Brazil

There are three teams that are emerging in my book as the front runners for the title of teams you love to hate. First ones-Terence and Sarah, mostly him. Girl lose the jerk quick! He's demanding, needy and just downright obnoxious. Even when she tries to talk to another team he considers it a betrayal. What is she going to do in real life, never speak to another human again? I secretly loved it when Terence got them lost looking for the taxi stand. Shall we buy some ice cream he says? The other team, who else? Tina and ex hubby Ken. Now I know why they divorced each other, neither one is a prize, maybe they really do deserve each other. Tina was getting on my last nerve when she had to tell the entire country of Brazil that she was responsible for the airline getting a larger plane. Yep, I just said, supersize it! I loved it when Terence said, yeah right! Third place goes to the snotty nose brother and sister team of Nick and Starr. He wins this distinction for telling nerdie boy Andrew that he would be back to help him (at the wall) but then dashes off. I know it's a race but don't promise what you can't keep. Nick reminds of the bratty jock kid in high school who always picked a fight with the geeks on the playground. The surprise team of this episode was the adult nerd herd of Mark and Bill. I kept thinking, oh no not the container challenge, that has got to be like finding a needle in a haystack. Mark and Bill rulers supreme of the computer make quick time on the computer's database to find the serial number to the container they needed to find. Now I'm thinking, this is where they will get hopelessly behind, not! They managed to find the container and the clue and were actually the first ones done with the challenge and in a taxi on their way to their next stop. Nerds rule the world or at least in this case Brazil. One team that managed to live up to their image of ditsy ding dongs, were Kelly and Christy. I'm wondering how much time did they really waste trying to find a container in the sand after they finished the challenge of beach it? Um, hello! You need to go back to class and take Reading Clues 101. The Miss Congeniality team was the mother-son team of Dallas and Toni, snap! When all the taxis were whizzing by poor pathetically lost Terence and Sarah, I was like don't you dare stop! When Dallas stopped his cab, I thought he was going to share the ride, but didn't whew! At least he told them where they were supposed to pick up their cab. That was so nice, he's such a good boy! Unfortunately Anthony and Step were eliminated. They really didn't seemed to be in any hurry. Come on guys, this is a race for a cool million. When Anthony tried pushing the cab to pop the clutch, I would have been in another cab racing for the next stop without him. And when he was at the wall to find the clue, he should have make quick work of it but he kept scratching his head and like everyone else making it much more difficult than it really was. I guess no one speaks Spanish, because the clue was the next place they would be going. Guess no one knew what cuidad was? Isn't Spanish 101 a requirement to graduate from high school? Well, at least Anthony felt like he can appreciate his life more after seeing the poverty in Brazil. He says, I have my health, my family, my girlfriend, and my good looks...um shoulda left the good looks part out!-Single D