Tila Teliqua-Shot at Love # 2

It's Bi-nanza (how many different ways will she use that pun?) time at the house as Tila's challenge for a date is ride'm cowboys and cowgirls. How is it that prime young studs (or so they think) and young women (can they be called that?) can't hold on to a mechanical bull to save their lives? This is mechanical bull riding for toddlers 101. The bull is in an inflatable wading pool so the contestants don't get bruised up should they fall off. The bull is going in slo mo, about 1 turn per every 5 minutes. How hard is that? Are these people wimps or what. How is it that prime young studs (at least they think they are) fall off after 10 seconds? They whole thing was so lame, I had to go to the kitchen to get myself a snack. When I came back, Tila was announcing that the losers were going to cook chili. Gee can I be on the losing team. I would have loved to cook chili, that should have been the challenge, a Bi-Chili cook off. Everyone was criticizing Bo for taking charge of the cooking, hey I love it when a man can cook!

The next thing we know everyone is in the pool for a pool party, more like a pool orgy. The girls are stacking up on Tila as the guys watch, mouths open, drool dropping. Snap those mouths shut and roll up your tongues guys. I imagine that scene was every guys dream come true. Jersey was so excited he wanted some of the action, but Tila definitely was not feeling it and things came to a screeching halt. The next challenge for the two on one date is down drench derby, cranking water into a bucket until it falls over and drenches the two pairs. Lisa and Kyle win the date. Kyle is showing his creepy side again by asking Tila strange sexual questions, like have you ever done it on top of a fridge, in a cave, on a boat, well maybe not exactly those questions, but something to that effect, just plain gross. No wonder they call him kreepy Kyle. When Lisa gets her private time with Tila, kreepy Kyle just kept staring at them. Kreepy Kyle is krazy! Lisa gets the kiss, while Kreepy Kyle get the kan, along with sweet George. He reminded me of last season's Italian Stallion Domenico, just as sweet but without the accent. Poor George, everyone was crying at his departure, I guess he was beloved by the house, but not by Tila. Tila said to Jersey, don't make me regret sending George home. You will honey, you will. As George summed it up, good guys do finish last, and at that cut to Chad head butting really hard Bo....to be continued!

PS-Kyle you're probably not as kreepy as you came off, just stop staring and take some lessons in how to act in front of a girl! -Single D

Top Chef - Box lunch

We join our chefs this week as they are coming down from the wedding. Andrew is still on a culinary high saying he is either going to stab somebody or cook some amazing food. I'm hoping for the amazing food. Sam Talbot from season two is the guest judge this week. He's still a cutie! The quickfire challenge is to make a "sexy" salad in 45 minutes. The chefs get busy and come up with creations like, Antonia's poached egg and wild mushroom salad with bacon vinegrette, Lisa's banana, squid, lobster salad with grapefruit vinegrette sounded like a mess to me. Spike wins the challenge with his sensual beef salad with pineapple, yum! He doesn't win immunity but is told that he will get an advantage in the elimination challenge. The elimination challenge is to make a healthy box lunch for Chicago cops. They are to take a typical policeman's box lunch and make it healthy. Spike's advantage for this challenge - he can chose up to four ingredients that no one else can use. They go to Whole Foods to get their supplies. They have to make something incorporating a vegetable, fruit, protien and a whole grain. Chefs have to wait until Spike picks his advantage ingredients before they can shop. Spike is too much enjoying his shopping waving his picks in front of the others. He picks chicken, tomatoes, lettuce and bread so no one else can use these ingredients. The girls grumble that they better see Spike use all of those ingredients. Richard and Andrew keep changing their recipes as Spike picks each ingredient. Richard decides on lentil and tuna burritos while Andrew makes sushi using pine nuts and parsnips as the rice with salmon and veggies as the filling. Dale makes bison rolls using cabbage in place of lettuce and Lisa comes up with edamame and shrimp stir fry with hot sauce but says that someone burned her rice. Everyone pretty much used the fruit as a side or in a dessert. As everyone is cooking, the camera keeps panning over to the microwaves showing the GE logo. I guess GE gave them a big sponsorship. It's lunch time and the cops come in for the feast. I kept looking for my husband's cousin who is a Chicago cop, but I didn't she her. Hi Tara! As they make their selections, Spike only puts out two or three of his dishes telling everyone they are going fast so they better grab one. Did anyone bother to tell Spike that it doesn't matter how many he serves but that it has to taste good? Richard keeps asking everyone, "do you like burritos?" which I thought was pretty clever, get them in the mind set that they are eating high calorie burritos instead of healthy ones. As the judges come in, Chef Tom is confident the chefs will be serving healthy tasty dishes. Chef Tom tastes Lisa's dish with the hot sauce which brings tears to his eyes. What? Don't like spicy? Andrew's sushi did not hold together at all and wasn't very tasty and the judges get confused about Spike's lack of using the lettuce and tomatoes in his dish which was chicken salad. At judges table, the judges like Stephanie's meatball and mushroom soup and Dale's bison rolls with mango and cucumbers. Dale wins with a prize of a magnum of Rutherford Hill Merlot and tickets to visit the winery in Napa Valley. Nice prize! Can I go? I love Napa and Rutherford Hill Merlot! Andrew, Spike and Lisa are the bottom three. Andrew starts questioning the rules which doesn't sit well with the judges. Andrew did not use a grain in his dish opting to use the ground pine nuts & parsnips in place of rice. Lisa still says someone burned her rice when it's possible she did it herself. Spike seemed surprised that he is one of the bottom three and the judges remind him that he used his advantage to the detriment of the other chefs. They also said that he just made chicken salad to which Spike challenged the judges saying what do they know about salty and sweet combinations. Looks like they know quite a bit Spike, that's why they are sitting at the table and you aren't! The judges had not commented on Andrew's lack of using a grain in his dish so Lisa points this out to the judges. Andrew jumps on Lisa for this then Lisa starts to say "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you didn't use....." when Andrew cuts her off saying thanks for calling me out. In the back room waiting for the judges decision, Andrew goes after Lisa for calling him out and Lisa fires back then Andrew tells her she shouldn't whine about her burnt rice. Go to your corners kids, it's over! As Andrew tries to brush off the tire tracks from the bus he was thrown under, the judges tell him to pack his knives and go. Hopefully the guys and gals of the Chicago Police Department had a good time! Double D

Hell's Kitchen-Taste Testing

Matt is overjoyed at his defection to the girls team, but for the girls he's going to need to prove himself before he's accepted. Now I don't really have an opinion about him, but I tend to think that he is probably misjudged alot because he always wears a scowl on his face. It's just his natural face but it's always in frown mode. Poor guy, I know plastic surgery could help that. The reward challenge involves the infamous palate taste testing. Both groups taste three dishes cooked up the the chef himself, chicken pot pie, beef stew, and raviolis, with one major ingredient missing! Everyone seems to think it's some kind of spice or something. Petrozzi thinks something is wrong with the meat but can't pinpoint it. Everyone loves the ravioli but doesn't realize it's missing the pork. The other dishes are made with tofu/soy substitute meat products instead of the chicken and beef. Now you would think they would be able to tell the difference between tofu and beef. The next challenge is the blind taste test. Again, how do you not know the taste of yams and nectarines? The girls are in the lead, when it comes down to the final taste test between rivals, Ben and Matt tasting the clam chowder. They had to name the 10 ingredients in the soup. Much to my surprise, Matt was able to name more ingredients and won the challenge for the girls. Winners get a spa treatment, losers clean the dorms. Matt is ecstatic that he won the challenge for the girls and seems to be enjoying the chocolate facial mask when Ben comes in to serve them tea. Hummm, chocolate mask, yum! The dinner service is pretty much the same rerun with Roseann messing up again and Louross in stall mode. Ben is by far the worst performer of the evening. Matt is so happy that Ben is getting hammered by Chef that it is translating into his putting out the best risotto that has ever been made in Hell's Kitchen according to Chef Ramsay. Matt is so proud his chest is puffed out like a proud rooster in a chicken coop. Unfortunately, it seems like both teams can't get their stuff together to make a complete dinner service, so it's "shut it down!". Chef Ramsay calls the men's team as the losers and for each of them to nominate someone. Back in the dorm, Ben is the first one to call on Louross to be nominated even tho it was Ben himself as the weakest member. Bobby doesn't want to go along with that and says why not each one of us vote for each other so that all four go up, which I thought very democratic. Petrozza is not sold on the idea and says he has to think about it. In front of Ramsay, each one nominates each other until it's Petrozza's turn. He says he can't nominate anyone, what! Come on, Ben was the weakest link, swallow crow and nominate him! Petrozzi says he will nominate himself. Chef Ramsay is surprise by his self sacrificing valor and knows that it took alot of guts to do that. In the end, it's Ben that is eliminated, he really needed to go, he was just plain mean, and as Matt said, karma will get you every time.-Single D

American Idol-Final Three

This week it's the battle of the final three-two David's and one Syesha. The evening was sort of a disappointment. I really didn't think they needed to sing 3 songs, that didn't show their vocal abilities at all. It left me wanting more, like Chinese food. I know I ate something, but I can't remember what it was. I think David Archuleta struggled last night. His song choices were terrible. I can see why his intrusive stage dad wanted them changed. The first song "And So It Goes" was alright, but his second, Chris Brown's song, which I absolutely love,"With You" was not good. I bet his dad chose that song. And the last producer's choice "Longer Than" was just ok. Big disappointment, since I'm a huge Archuleta fan. What can I say about Syesha, she looked amazing. I hated that "Fever" song-way too old for her to be singing. At least she has a great first name that can stand alone like all the other great single name artist like Cher and Madonna. I think David Cook had the better song choices, however, I'm not really a fan like I would go out and buy his CD. The judges have told David A that he needed more emotion in his eyes well what about David Cook, he always looks like a dead fish when he sings, there is absolutely no emotion in his eys. I think the final battle will be between the two Davids. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for David Archuleta, let's hope his dad keeps his golfers cap head out of David's singing!-Single D

The Bachelor-London Calling-Hollywood Ending

Gee, life is a Hollywood ending! An English bachelor comes calling and ends up with the American Dream and a Hollywood ending, but more on that later. Matt takes his remaining two women, Chelsea and Shayne to London to meet his parents, Trish and Tony and his brother, Simon. Sorry Simon, but Matt inherited the good looks in the family. Matt comes from your typical English stock, prim and proper parents, living in the typical English house you might expect, old English furniture and large paintings with gold gilt frames. Matt takes Chelsea for a ride on the Eye. When I was in London, that wasn't even built yet. Chelsea goes to meet Matt's parents for dinner at their house. Simon remarks on how pretty she is. To me it seems that Chelsea is trying really hard to impress Matt's parents, a little too hard. Matt's mom seems so nice and down to earth. I was wondering where dad Tony was during this, he just disappeared.

The next day, Matt meets Shayne and takes her on a double decker bus ride to see the sights of London. Shayne's outfit is very cute. Snaps! Shayne is amazed at London and says it looks like it's out of the movies. For someone being raised in a Hollywood family, she has done very little traveling. My daughter has more flier miles than she does! At first Simon said that he didn't think she was the right match for Matt, but then after talking with her, he thought her very mature and nice. Our blondie showed her confidence and maturity and held up to the scrunity of the meet the parents. The only time Matt's dad said anything was when Matt asked his family which one they liked better and he said Shayne. Go pops!

Back in Barbados and the Hilton, there's that Hilton sign again, the girls have one last date with Matt. Chelsea gives Matt a present, a cooler bag with cereal and surf board wax, not very romantic if you ask me. Just goes to show how there's not the warm and fuzzy vibe between them! She says it's for breakfast in bed. If I'm having breakfast in bed it better be croissants, scones, jelly and cappuccinos! And the wax is to teach Matt how to surf when he comes to California. Chelsea tells Matt that she's falling in love with him, but during their whole time together, she just seems so awkward and clumsy in the relationship and there's absolutely no chemistry there. Unlike Shayne, who seems so utterly at ease with Matt, gripping onto him like a baby chimp. Shayne and Matt's last date is para sailing which looked like so much fun. Shayne tells Matt "see what I do for you"!

Shayne's present to Matt is two frames with pictures of herself writing "I love you" in the sand. Now that's romantic! Matt still doesn't give us any hints of whom he's choosing, telling each one of them that he is falling in love with them. Is he allowed to say the "L" word?

Matt chooses the Tacori diamond ring, absolutely beautiful. He was holding it while standing on the balcony over the ocean, I was afraid he would drop it in the ocean! yikes!

I always get so nervous when the limos pull up, nervously pacing...which one will be the first one, like that would tell me which one he picks? Of course I'm hoping Shayne wins. The votes on our blog show the most votes cast for Shayne! Looks like America agrees. Out of the first limo is Chelsea, in a long flowing Grecian style dress. She goes to Matt and he shows no sign of nervousness. He gives her the customary, I think you're wonderful speech and then drops the but.....I've fallen in love with someone else! I was so ecstatic! There is a God after all!

Chelsea is crushed but manages to keep her composure until for one split second she blurted out "You picked the most falsest one!". Matt shot back "if you think I did, then you don't know me! "

In the next limo, Shayne makes her way to Matt, wearing a billowy yellow chiffon cocktail dress with her hair in a up swept duo and long bangs. I'm wondering if those diamond bracelets both ladies had on were real? Shayne meets Matt and he proceeds to tell her that she is amazing and that he has loved every second that they had together and then he drops to one knee as Shayne cries "Matt, Matt!" I could weep! It was so romantic! He says "Monkey, will you marry me?" It was just the perfect Hollywood ending with a montage of their bachelor journey. In the end, this season of London Calling was just perfect. I hope Matt and Shayne will be able to keep it going, but knowing the rate of breakup, that might be hard. Shayne's last word to him was "Matt, you have to promise me not to look at any other women, because you have looked at too many women during our relationship." Very funny! I'm just wondering if Shayne will be willing to give up her acting career for Matt and move to London? That's the big question mark in that ending, nonetheless, it was simply jolly well perfect! -Single D

It's the final two in London to meet the parents. Chelsea goes first and Matt takes her up in the London Eye. Not your typical ferris wheel with its stand up, glass enclosed gondolas with an amazing view. That would have been one of my "face my fear" things that Matt finds so sexy. On to Matt's parents house. Matt's brother Simon looked so serious until he tells Chelsea if she moves to England she will have to bring her Wellies. Matt's "mum" does all the grilling on Chelsea while his father was not very much a part of the picture. All I can say is Matt's family is obviously well-to-do with a huge house in London. Unless it's all staged and they really live in a two room flat in London's ghetto.

Next up is Shayne. He takes her to Hyde Park and on a double decker bus tour around the city. At the house bro Simon wasn't real sure about Shayne but she really warmed up to them and them to her. Matt's father asks Shayne how old she is to which she responded 12. I think she had them in the palm of her hand after that.

After Shayne leaves, Matt sits with his family to get their reaction to the two women. Mum & dad like Shayne saying she seems the more genuine of the two while Simon likes Chelsea. I say Simon wants Matt to pick Chelsea so he can have a crack at Shayne!

It's back to Barbados for one last date before the big rose ceremony. Matt takes Chelsea on a helicopter tour which ends up on a secluded beach. Chelsea looks like she finally has loosened up a bit and is actually having fun with Matt. She gives Matt a California Survival Kit consisting of cereal for breakfast in bed, surf wax because she wants to teach him to surf and a map for all of their travels. I thought it was clever, maybe not so romantic but clever.

Matt is still calling Shayne monkey, apparently because she clings to him as a monkey would. Matt takes her parasailing with her squealing all the way. Later, Shayne gives him a present of pictures of her writing I love you in the sand saying this is the most important present you will ever get from me. What no more imagination? After telling her she is the warmest, most genuine person he has ever met, she looks up, while rubbing her eyes and asks "did you like my present?" Now I like Shayne but, in that moment, she looked every bit a child being put to bed by a doting guardian.

At the rose ceremony, Chelsea arrives first all hopeful but gets the "I'm sorry but" speech from Matt. My heart went out to her because she did take so long to open up. I just hope she doesn't shut herself off from finding someone who can love her for herself.

Come on, didn't we all know it was going to be Shayne? Young, gorgeous, potential movie income what red blooded man wouldn't go for that? So Matt asks "monkey" to marry him to which she happily agrees.

As they stare into the sunset, we look forward to the Bachelorette next week! Double D

Survivor-Fan vs Favorites Finale!

I can't believe we've come to the end of another season of Survivor, this one being the best one in recent memory. I say memory, because once they leave the island, I can barely remember who participated! The girls are celebrating their victory over the mind bending blindside they played on unsuspecting naive Erik. They couldn't beat him in challenges, but proved that they could beat him in mind control. Great job! Amanda, Cirie, Parvati and Natalie get tree mail calling for them to prepare for their final 3 immunity challenge. This challenge of balance (on a pole in the ocean) and filling up the tube which held the key to the puzzle ladder on shore, was a challenge in quickness and concentration. I was holding my breath as Natalie takes a huge lead, but Amanda managed to keep steady and won immunity. I really didn't care who won as along as it wasn't Natalie! Ok, ok, I'm a favorites fan! It was pretty much a sealed deal that Natalie got eliminated, say goodbye Natalie, sorry to see ya go, you seemed to have lost steam at the end.

At tribal, the jury looks freshly polished and washed. Ozzy still looks pissed at Parvati, get over it Oz, it's a game and you lost! Erik seems to be taking his elimination with good humor and is all smiles.

At camp the girls decide to let the chicken, Gloria go. No wonder they didn't eat her, any animal with a name is a pet in my book. Now that it's just the girls, I'm wondering what they are eating, since no one has caught any fish, just coconuts? I think the cameramen must be secretly sneeking food to them. Our chicken Gloria doesn't want to leave camp and decides to make a nest, why leave paradise now, she knows whose feeding her!

When the final survivors make the journey of remembering, I always start to feel sentimental, ok, maybe for 10 seconds. I forgot who originally played in the game, it seemed so long ago, so it's a good refresher. Bye Fairplay, bye Yauman, gee were they even in this game?

The final challenge was one of concentration and determination, holding blocks together without dropping the ball on top. Of course, Parvati is the first one to drop her ball, has she ever won any challenges? That challenge looked hard with the sun beating down and Amanda and Cirie licking the sweat off their lips. I was sweating just looking at them and Amanda wins the final challenge. I kinda wanted Cirie to win to mix things up, but I was ok with any of them winning. Get the Kleenex out because Amanda starts to whine on how she has to make the decision to cast off one of them and you know whose going home, Cirie. I don't know why she wanted to keep Parv. They are like two slices of white toast and at least if she would have kept Cirie, there would have been a big difference between them, stragety and game playing. I think Amanda would have had a better chance with Cirie sitting next to her than Parv. But in the end, did it matter who was up against Amanda? Amanda just doesn't have any verbal skills. Being on equal footing between Parvati and Amanda, I think it came down to how they came across to the jury during the final Inquisition. The only thing Parv had going for her was her strategic underhanded game play, which it seems, that the meaner, the more devious, the more you have back stabbed people and lied, the more you increase your chances of winning, with the exception of Ethan, from Survivor Africa. Amanda didn't have a chance against anyone, because she couldn't verbalize her playing ability. I thought she should have said that she managed to be in the final two twice, which I think is a total testament to the way she played the game and is proof that she has what it takes to be the ultimate survivor. But because she was unable to persuade the jury, she lost the vote of confidence. All they saw was a weak, sniffling Amanda, what they needed to see was a strong, competent Amazonian woman, but instead they got give me a hankie please!

In the end, Amanda might not have won the game, but she managed to win the guy, Oz. Isn't love grand. I loved Ozzy's speech and his denouncing Parv's game play for the sake of a million dollars, but Oz, it's a million dollars, let's face it, I'd sell my husband for a million dollars! Ok, not really sell him, well maybe for George Clooney. I thought he was going to produce a ring for Amanda's finger, I'm forever a romantic!

Hey have you been tuning into the webcast of Ponderosa? I love the peek at life after Survivor. It's hysterical and makes the Survivors back into real people and not the contestants you love to hate. Ponderosa is like a glorified camp with all the food, drink and Crest white strips you could want. Hey I could live like that forever and with the gorgeous beach at their footsteps. Well, this season was totally satisfying, like eating a good surf and turf dinner, can't wait for Survivor Gabon, Africa, looks promising! See you on the blog!-Single D

Here we are, the final four - 3 faves and one fan. The girls are celebrating but now the interesting part starts. I'm sure Natalie will be the next one out if she doesn't win immunity. We'll see who steps next into the Venus fly trap.

Immunity challenge is a ladder puzzle but to get the key to unlock the pieces, the girls have to stand on twenty foot pole and use buckets of water to raise the key. Cirie wasted too much time trying to reach the key and fell behind quickly. Is it just me or were there holes in the bottom of those buckets? It seemed to me that there was a lot of water leaking out when they were raised. Anyway, Natalie and Parvati take an early lead dashing my hopes for Amanda. Oh ye of little faith I tell myself, for our Amazon Amanda comes back and blows them out of the water! She really is a good match for our Jungle Boy Ozzy!

As Jeff talks about the blindsides at tribal later that day, the camera pans to the jury and we get a shot of Ozzy glaring at the girls. I guess he's still upset about his blindside. It's your own fault Ozzy, how many times do people say don't get too comfortable. No one is safe in Survivor! Cirie starts saying that she feels she is on the bottom as she plays the poor pitiful me card. Well she can stop saying that as the vote comes back and Natalie becomes a jury member.

As they return to camp, Cirie is still doing the poor me thing and starts yelling at Amanda which makes Amanda start yelling back, kind of. I think Amanda was just defending herself and trying to make Cirie see that she has not been on the bottom. After all, if Cirie was on the bottom all this time, I don't think she would have made it this far. Amanda starts crying, her and Cirie make up and they all have a group hug and all is right with the world. The next morning they decide to free the last chicken which they have named Gloria. Gloria doesn't seem to want to leave as she makes a nest right in front of the girls. That chicken has ceased to be a chicken and is now a pet!

Next comes the reflection walk. Who is Mary? I had already forgotten some of the players, not Yau-man though! He got such a raw deal! There is something about this part that brings out my emotional side. It's almost like watching a memorial for a funeral, I have to remind myself that these people are alive just not in the game!

The last immunity challenge, balance a metal ball on a cylinder while adding pieces to the handle every 5 minutes. I'm still cheering for Amanda. As they add the pieces, Jeff stirs the pot telling the girls they are battling each other. Parvati drops out first and as I'm sitting on the edge of my sofa, Cirie loses concentration in the final seconds giving Amanda immunity and me a quick calorie burn as I jump up and down cheering. Jeff explains to Amanda that by casting her vote at tribal, she is saying who she will take with her to the end (really?!). With that, Jeff tells the girls to have a fun afternoon. Nice Jeff, drop a load like that then say "have fun". Nothing like some mind games to polish off an afternoon.

Back at camp, Parvati is talking to Amanda like it's already them in the final two. Parvati tells Amanda that Cirie has pissed off more people than she has making Amanda's decision that much harder. At tribal, Amanda starts crying again about the decision she has to make but she votes out Cirie, crying the whole time while Parvati breaks out in a huge grin.

Cirie's little speech at the end didn't make me feel sorry for her. Cirie pretty much rode everyone's coat tails. I will say that she did do some fast talking to save her butt and was instrumental in some of the blind sides, but other than that, she didn't do anything around the camp and remember when she was going around saying that she was in control and everyone should be bowing to her and doing her laundry? That's right, and she says she was on the bottom, HA! Ultimately she was on the bottom, but HA!

Now it's the jury's turn. Eliza comes out with guns blazing but we all expected that didn't we? Natalie's questions to Parvati about how her flirting translates into the bedroom gets everyone so confused that Jeff asks Parvati if she knew what was being asked of her. I think Natalie was just feeling out Parvarti for a date. Cirie is still pissed off at Amanda for voting her out and she still thinks she should have been in the final two. I'm sorry, but Cirie is sitting there dripping in diamonds and she should get a million bucks?! Maybe she needs it to pay off her jeweler.

Ozzy is still mad about being blindsided telling Parvati she threw away their friendship for a million dollars. Ozzy pours his heart out to Amanda telling her his is falling for her. Isn't reality TV love grand?

What is wrong with Amanda?! During the jury questioning, she just sat there like she expected them to hand her a million dollars. Now is the time to toot that horn girl! But does she?! No! And Parvati is talking herself up saying how well she played the game. I was yelling at the TV for Amanda to stand up for herself! She was final two twice, she won a lot of challenges, she worked around camp, she stayed loyal to her alliances. I don't know, maybe when you get to the end you are so worn out physically and emotionally you just want it to be over.

So Parvati wins the million. At least Amanda still has Ozzy. Maybe they will make little jungle king babies and we will see them on Survivor 36! Double D

Top Chef - Wedding Wars

For the quickfire challenge this week, the chefs are divided into two teams to do the relay race. The race is to make a quart of mayo, section an orange, peel an artichoke and fillet a monk fish. Let me tell you, a monk fish is one Ugly fish! Andrew tore through those artichokes like a hot knife through butter. Richard & Dale go head to head to fillet the monk fish. The teams are even so it comes down to the mayo making with Lisa and Nikki. Lisa is a whiz at it making that whisk fly! My arm hurt just watching her. Lisa's mayo making talent won her team the quickfire challenge. Dale, who is on Nikki's team, freaks out and slams his hand into a locker leaving a good size dent. Lighten up Dale, you can't win them all! Instead of restaurant wars as in Top Chef's past, they are doing wedding wars complete with wedding cake. One team will cater to the groom's tastes and, of course, the other team will cater to the bride. Dale's team get the groom who likes Italian food so Nikki should have a chance to redeem herself. Richard's team get the bride who seems to want a mix of bar food and picnic fare. Andrew is so excited about wedding wars that he says he has a culinary boner. Now there is someone who likes cooking! Dale, on the other hand is already getting an attitude saying he is picking up everyones slack and doing everything. The rest of the team is not happy with Dale since he is not willing to be a team player and won't work with anyone. I guess if he isn't cooking with Richard, he won't cook with anyone. After a day and half of straight cooking, the chefs start feeling the lack of sleep as Andrew stops talking much to the surprise of everyone and Dale, when asked by Chef Tom, can't remember what it was he prepared. Dale had his hand in so much that I can understand that. Nikki would not step up and take control of the team even though she has the most experience with Italian food. Lisa started on the groom's cake right away just in case something went wrong. She made a chocolate hazelnut three tiered cake. A cake Single D would love! It wasn't pretty but I'm sure it tasted good. Stephanie stepped up to make the bride's cake, a five tiered dark chocolate cake with lemon filling. Her cake was OK looking, she decorated it with fresh flowers. The menus started with short ribs and blue cheese in phyllo, pizza, pulled pork sandwiches and bruschetta on flat bread. Chef Tom was practically gnawing on the flat bread and Gail was afraid she would break a tooth. The bride's dinner consisted of fillet, potatoes gratin, creamed spinach (one of my faves) and crispy, almond crusted chicken. The groom's dinner was mixed roasted veggies, butternut squash tortellini, sea bass, pork and beef ragu as well as fillet. Richard's team bride, was the judges favorite with Richard winning, again. Richard gave his prize, a $2000 gift certificate to Crate and Barrel (one of my favorite stores), to Stephanie saying that she was a trouper for making the wedding cake. Stephanie told Richard they could split the prize. OK, enough of the nicey nice! Dale's team groom failed terribly and Dale says he did everything but won't take responsibility for anything saying everyone but him did bad. This upsets Spike who goes off on Dale calling him a little b!tch. Them's fightin' words dude! Spike is a little full of himself when the judges tell him his sea bass was the only good dish from the team but his roasted veggies were terrible. Nikki was the first to say she was not the lead on this challenge and the judges asked her why not since she is the Italian food expert of the team. Nikki is told to pack her knives and go. The judges thought she did not step up and take the lead. Come on girl, you are an Italian chef and groom wanted an Italian menu. She SO should have been the lead. Back to the pasta kitchen with you! Double D