Top Chef - Puerto Rico

I'm behind I know. We had company so I am playing catch up. Thanks for bearing with me! After a six month break, the chefs are in Puerto Rico for the finals. During the break Stephanie says she was enjoying life by traveling to Thailand, Viet Nam and Cambodia. Thailand sounds good but Cambodia? Antonia opened her restaurant and has been cooking non stop. We don't get to hear what Richard and Lisa have been up to but it's clear the other chefs didn't expect Lisa to still be around. The quickfire challenge is to make two kinds of fritters and they have to include plantains. Stephanie makes a tuna fritter and a pork & shrimp fritter. Antonia comes up with crispy oysters and a fried yellow plantain while Richard makes pork meatballs with plantain and green plantain chips. Lisa makes tostones with pan roasted duck with mango papaya salsa and a sweet plantain with onions and chorizo. What a setting these guys have to cook in with the surf in the background. I was wondering how they could concentrate. Anyway, Stephanie wins the quickfire just edging out Lisa. The chefs get to relax a little and attend a party with traditional dancers, a band and a whole pig being roasted on a spit. That's my kind of party, dancing and a whole lot of pig! At least the chefs didn't have to good at this party. The finale is being held at a fort which is the home of the governor of Puerto Rico. For the challenge, each chef is given a whole pig to make two dishes using different parts of the pig. The chefs get help from, who else, chefs that have already packed their knives. Stephanie's advantage for winning quickfire is she gets to chose who cooks with whom. She picks Dale for herself and pairs Lisa with Andrew who pretty much hate each other. They all walk into the kitchen and there lying on the counters are the pigs. After seeing that, it will take awhile before I can eat a pork chop. They were white and, well, dead. It's one thing to see them on a spit all brown and crispy and quite another to see them laying there all white and dead looking. Call me quirky! Off to market they go and Andrew gets someone who doesn't speak English so he tries to refer to what he wants by color. He comes off, as he said, looking like a retard. Somehow he manages to get the ingredients he needs and it's back to the kitchen. The kitchen is very cramped with all those chefs in one place and they start to get a little cranky. Lisa kept stepping in on Andrew saying she could do better on all he was doing. I would have said, have at it and left if I was him. He is only trying to help. They all get to prep their dishes and come back the next day to finish. On the way out we see a container full of Stephanie's pork bellies on the counter. When the chefs arrive the next day, Stephanie and Dale find out their mistake and have to trash the dish and start over. They decide to go with chicharrones, coconut pork and pork satay on sugar cane. Richard makes BBQ pork shoulder, ribs and pork belly. Antonia also makes pork belly and also pork sausage and curried pork. Lisa has pork rellena, pork belly (of course) and adobo pork tostone. What's up with all the pork belly? And is it any good? Stephanie is nervous at the judging since she had to start from scratch but relaxes when the judges seem to like her dishes. Richard was looking pretty frazzled. As the guests were commenting on the chefs and their dishes, one guest said he had been Puerto Rican all his life, in reference to the food. I'm thinking, good for you, I've been American all my life but I can tell good food from bad also. It just seemed like an odd thing to say. At judges table, Richard and Stephanie are the judges favorites with Richard winning. His prize is a car. I think this is the first time they have given a car. Not bad! That leaves Lisa and Antonia as the least favorite. Lisa immediately defends her dishes and took on that famous attitude. The judges didn't like Antonia's undercooked beans. After the judges have their discussion, they call back Lisa and Antonia and Lisa turns on her death ray glare. In a shocker, at least to me, Antonia is told to pack her knives and go. In the war room everyone is hugging Antonia goodbye with Lisa sulking. Lisa finally confronts Steph & Richard saying why don't you congratulate me? For what?! That girl and her attitude should have been sent packing long ago. Double D

Tila Tequila-Shot at Love # 2-Home Dates

Ok, I must live in a completely conservative world. In my world mothers are mothers and fathers are fathers. Not in the world of Tila. This episode features the four home dates to meet the parents of her would be partners. First it's a stop to Bobby's house. I missed the first 5 minutes but when I came in, it looked like a tame dinner with your run of the mill family. Did I mention Bo's mother is Bi? Hey what's up with those hoop earring's Bo was wearing, maybe he's not so straight as I thought. Next it's on to Yonkers, isn't that where Hello Dolly is from? Kristi takes Tila ice skating and then to her parents house, where we get to meet her parents, brother and aunt. Her aunt is...yep you guessed it, Bi! After dinner, Kristi's dad puts on some music and guess what, it's Tila singing. Tila gets her grind on with Kristi's brother giving him, she says a woody! Ya think, he's all of what 17? Tila gives the aunt a lap dance much to the aunt's pleasure. Wait, this is tame to what's coming! Next it's on to Brittany's house in San Diego, where they meet up at OB. Yep, I recognized the street! Brittany has gotten all of Tila's favorite foods, fried chicken, fried rice, grape soda and Texas pickles. At the dinner it's Brittany's best friend, her roomie and her dad whom she finally met when she was 16. Her dad is pretty hip but manages to get embarrassed when Tila starts sucking on the Texas pickles and licking the pickle juice off her arm. Gads, now I know why guys like her, that girl's got talent! Brittany's roomie, who looked all of 18 was looking with longing at Tila. He's going to need a cold shower! The last date is to Jersey's big stately family home, somewhere in New Jersey. Now ya think Jeremy, although brash and obnoxious, his family would be somewhat the conservative Jewish family, not! In fact, I had to watch most of this segment with my hands over my eyes! I was cringing. It started out tame enough with Jeremy's father, stepmother, mom, step dad, and brother, who looks like an older replica of Jersey, at the family dinner table. Tila comments on how young and attractive the mothers are. She really knows how to work a crowd and asks the mothers to show off their assets, which was like watching a hypnotist work her magic as they obediently comply with her request. For the sake of the viewing audience MTV had pictures of shot glasses (big ones) covering you know what! Jersey and brother were beside themselves and had to cover their eyes. I mean it's their mothers for heaven sake! The fathers meanwhile were totally amused. I think they do the wife swapping thing! Next Tila asks the mothers to kiss and I mean, OMG, they do it! Can you say, ick! No wonder Jersey is all screwed up! Next it's an after dinner romp in the the hot tub passing Tila around like she was the dessert, after all Jersey's father says, it's all in the family. We taught Jeremy to share! Gads! As Tila says leaving it was like attending a porn convention, and we all know she knows a lot about that! I would definitely have to say that the tamest home date was Brittany's, after all what's a little pickle juice among family? Back at the mansion, all four compare notes on how their dates went and each one thinks they have it sewn up except for Brittany's and you know why, no shock value. Night of elimination, Tila dashes the hopes of one more. Bobby and Kristi get the first two keys so it's between Brittany and Jersey for the last one. I don't know if Tila saw Jersey flipping off Bo when he got his key, but Tila curtly says to Jersey, "You're not my type, your shot at love has ended." And with that, Jersey knocks over the key holder, breaks something else and storms out of the mansion. I think he even called Tila the "s" word too. I'm just wondering why she kept him so long? Maybe the producers told her she'd get extra $$ to keep him? No doubt. Anyway, down to three and this is eerily like the first season, two women and one guy. Is Bo the next Bobby? Careful Bo, word had it that she dumped Bobby right after the show, wouldn't take his calls, poor sap, he supposedly even posted that on his my space page. She used him and then threw him away. Only one word for a girl like that, and I don't think I want to say it on my blog!-Single D

Hell's Kitchen Cooking School

The five remaining chefs get a lesson from Chef Ramsay on how to make Lobster Pasta. Their challenge is to teach that receipe to 5 cooking students but not your typical aspiring chefs, but more like Housewives of LA County, domestic divas, who can't tell the difference between a sauce pan and a chef knife. Petrozza gets all flustered and is more interested in putting the apron on his student and sweeping up her hair. Jen is trying to cheat by doing most of the prep work for the student. Forty five minutes later, the student-housewive divas present their dishes to Chef. Chef Ramsay pronounces Corey and Christina's the best, much to the disappointment of Jen (who thought she was going to win again!) and Bobby who has never won a single challenge (which is very telling). Chef chooses Christina's student dish as the best one and for her reward, Mark Peel and Ben Ford to give her their special chef tips. Do we know who they are? I guess I'm celebrity chef challenged. I was wondering if Christina knew who they were, or was she just bluffing? They came to teach her their secret tips while the losers had to scrub down the kitchen. Jen takes on the cleaning nearest the two chefs so she can spy on what they are teaching Christina. When they handed her the dishes to be washed after they ate their preparations, Jen ate the food off their plates so she could taste what they had cooked. Bobby said that she's eating food that's meant for the garbage, that's just wrong. And I agree!

I think the two strongest contenders are Corey and Christina and will probably end up in the final two if they don't make a huge mistake first. For the dinner service it's only 5 chefs in the kitchen and Chef announces that a party of 12 will be coming in.

Again Jen loses it on the fish station and JP quickly tells the waitstaff to push the meat. But when Bobby messes up the meat station, JP is in a quandry and tells them to push the chicken. Hey, push the Jack In the Box down the street, I'm sure they can get the food out. The large table coming are the Hawaiian Tropic Models and JP is acting like a giddy schoolboy. He should team up with Petrozza, they both could drool together! We finally learn that JP is from Beligum not France. Back in the kitchen Chef is riding Jen's chef tails telling her that everytime he tells her something, she just klops along slowly. Chef calls Jen, Bobby and Petrozza-inconsistent, inconsistent and dreaming! With the dinner service finally over, he says the best performance of the evening was Christina and for her to pick two for elimination. At first it looked like she was picking on Petrozza (dreaming) when in fact it was Bobby and Jen that completely lost it. In the end, it was Bobby and Jen for elimination. Bobby has not shined during this whole process and as Corey said Bobby is mediocre, which turns out to be true. So it's goodbye Bobby. The general has left the building.-Single D

Ice Road Truckers - First and Last

I made a promise to watch Ice Road Truckers. I watched the premier for this season and was not impressed. It starts out showing the road getting built with one of the snow plow drivers, when asked what he thinks when he hears the ice cracking says, he turns up the stereo and rolls up the windows so he can't hear it. Now there's an idea. I guess it's a case of what you don't hear can't open up and swallow you and your plow!

Then there are the drivers. The show focus's on four drivers, two work for one company and two work for another. They all know each other and it's pretty much a bash fest. Even the super religious Alex gets in on the bashing saying that some of us are less blessed than others. At least he puts it nicely(?). Alex also has 11 kids so now we know what he does in the off season! As they give the short bios on the drivers, we meet Drew who goes off by himself to contemplate his navel. What ever gets you through the day.

The mission is to take supplies from Inuvik to a natural gas drilling site 145 miles north in Mallik. They have to haul everything from buildings to the drill rigs. Hugh gets the first load and is off across the frozen Arctic sea to Mallik. Alex has to wait for a truck to be delivered by Rick who gets in wreck trying to avoid hitting a herd of moose and Drew is told to wait. Rick gets the truck to Alex and they both start out together with Alex doing about 55mph while Rick is not used to driving fast on the ice and goes about 30mph. Come on Rick, grow a set and speed up!

Everyone makes it to Mallik despite brake and speed limit problems, drop their loads and head back for more. All but Drew who is too impatient to wait for a ride and quits. Go back and contemplate your navel some more Drew. Like the one driver said, this isn't for everybody and this show really isn't for me. Double D

The Bachelorette-Two Elimination Shocker!

Ok, it was two hours of crying from DeAnna. What's there to cry about? Well, maybe the singing! This episode opens with Chris Hanson telling the guys that they will have to compose and perform a song for DeAnna. Winner will receive a one on one date. Jesse's like jeez man, Graham's composing a song, who does he think he is? Bon Jovi? Of course this thing was right up Twilly's theatrical alley. Most of the guys performed a semi muscial rap, half talking, half singing. I thought the best song was from Brian (hunka hunka!) "House of Pain", but it was Jesse's one knee hand holding serenade that caught DeAnna's ear and earned him the single date. She's just not into Brian, silly girl! The guys sit around speculating what Jesse should wear and then a knock on the door and a dress suit magically appears, just Jesse's size. I guess DeAnna wants to see what Jesse looks like when he's cleaned up. But what about that hair? Jesse answers the door wearing a tee shirt that had a print of a tie on it, maybe he should wear the tee under the jacket, just his style! I must say Jesse was so excited about his date with DeAnna. DeAnna comes to the out house to pick up Jesse and all the guys are looking so hound dog and some of them won't even look at her. I guess that's the way jealousy rears it's ugly head with guys. It's Retreat, Retreat!! The date is to an empty theater in LA, where a dining table magically appears with Natasha Bedingfield singing. Jesse's like a small child, wide eyed and wild hair. Suit and all, still looked like a pro boarder but in a stuff shirt. He was kinda of endearing and in the end I guess that's why DeAnna gave him the rose, although I don't see those two together in the end.

The next date is the macho drag racing date with everyone else except Robert and Fred who will have to duel it out for the single rose. The guy whose speed is the fastest wins the alone time w/DeAnna. All the guys act like they've all done this before, getting their macho on, but you could so tell most of them were scared witless! Brian is first up and he's so scared he can't even get it into gear. His speed comes in at 140 and is the top speed until Twilly takes over. A look of relief came over DeAnna, when Sean managed to over take Twilly speed and win the alone time with D. The alone time was spent sitting on the grass drinking champagne with tons of swirling gnats flying around their heads, how romantic! I'm surprised that gnats didn't fly into their mouths! Sean tries to act all charming, but how charming can a redneck be? He tried to tell DeAnna that they both had that redneck thing in common. Hey Sean, being southern and being redneck are two different things. He's like Bud in a can, she's more like a mint julep, more sweet tea please! After her time with Sean, she's dying to get her lips on Graham, but he pulls back much to her displeasure. He says he can't when he thinks shes done that with the other guys. Oh please! Can you say double standard! Graham really has serious issues, no wonder he's never had a relationship that has lasted more than 5 months. Either he's extremely jealous or he's seriously afraid of commitment. You can see the fear in his eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. Go home Bambi, this is cruel stuff. In the end, Sean gets the rose for being his gentlemanly redneck self and climbs up the bachelor pile.

The next day, the guys cook up a BBQ and invite DeAnna over, but when she gets to the out house, there's a bad vibe in the air as the guys are all like mountain goats circling each other and wanting to butt their horns, but instead it's retreat, retreat! Robert and Graham sulk into the house, cowards! And DeAnna goes to find them. When she confronts Robert, he says he's under a lot of stress and that guys have been saying stuff, wa wa wa! DeAnna's not only mad, she's furious and immediately confronts the group and tells them that she's been through all this and knows exactly what they are going through and if they don't want to be there then leave. You go girl! A wise girl knows that shedding a few tears doesn't hurt as well. Seems that the guys have bonded so well, that they might as well had their bbq party for themselves and not invited DeAnna over, as she tipped the balance of king of the heap of the bachelor pile. It's really funny how the guys act compared to the women that have been on the bachelor. The guys are like fraternity buds communing around the campfire discussing stragety and if their rank in the pecking order is disturbed then they retreat, whereas the women would be claws out scratching each other with verbal bards and sharp, sacrastic tongues-meow!

The two on one date, DeAnna invites Fred and Robert over for a informal dinner. Robert has already theorized to Fred that whoever kisses her first on the date will get the rose. Of course to prove his theory, he tries to go in for the kiss when he's alone with DeAnna and she quickly says of course, on the cheek. Obviously there's no connection there! Robert fails and Fred pleads, but at the table DeAnna quickly dismisses Robert. It was so quick, Robert did a double take. His jaw dropped so hard, the china rattled and he didn't have a chance to plead his case. Yep buddy, you lose, so it's off with ya to the limo. Back at the table a shocked Fred is probably feeling pretty good by now, but DeAnna comes back, screws up her face, and gently tries to let him down, by saying that she can't keep him either! What, whoa girl! Nice, sweet, genuine Fred a goner. Good guys do finish last. At least he was a good sport about it and took it pretty well. Fred is really sweet and I hope someone snatches him up, he'll make a good husband to someone one day. Hey Fred, my sister- in-law is available, do ya like maturing, slightly overweight women? Ok, old and fat!

Back at the out house, the guys rush to see whose luggage is being whisked away and are shocked to see both sets go. Hey guys, just goes to show you, don't mess with DeAnna, she means it!

DeAnna comes home to the only man left standing or in this case reclining in the mansion is Jason. Much to his delight, he's happy to catch her on the rebound, all vulnerable and all. The night of elimination it's a pool party and for the first time everyone is having a good time. All the macho horn ramming is put aside. In the end, looks like Brian couldn't bring it to the table and open himself up to DeAnna enough. Such a shame. I would have liked to see (and I mean See) more of him in future episodes without his shirt. hubba, hubba! It was like that twit Twilly said, he preferred to hang with the guys than with her. Hey Double D, who are we going to drool over now?-Single D

The guys show off their talent by writing songs to DeAnna to win a one on one date. Hunky Brian was getting into it, Sean was a little slow getting started and Jesse wanted to know what a refrain was. They all can't sing with some even resorting to talking their songs they did write pretty good and Brian even got a standing ovation. Jesse got all romantic with the getting on his knee while singing which earned him the date. A suit is delivered for him and he gets even more nervous. DeAnna takes him to an empty theater where they have dinner stage side. Jesse pours his heart out telling DeAnna he is really into her. They get a performance from the singer Single D mentioned above (I have no idea who she is) and Jesse gets a rose.

The group date is a trip to the Auto Club Speedway to drive stock cars. Now that's right up any guys alley! Come to think of it, it's up my alley too! Can I drive with Brian? Brian gets to go first and after having trouble starting the car, pulls out a fast time. The others take their turn and Sean is the winner and gets alone time with DeAnna. He really didn't utilize his time well even telling DeAnna they are both rednecks. I'm sorry, but I don't want any guy calling me a redneck (excuse me while I scratch my butt and get a beer)! Once they are back in the group, here comes Jeremy! He takes DeAnna away, again even though she isn't complaining. DeAnna gets Graham alone and tells him now would be a good time to kiss her (cue the ominous music) and he says he wants it to be different which doesn't sit well with DeAnna. DeAnna ends up giving Sean the group date rose. He came off so cocky in the beginning, now he seems more grounded. I guess being among sharks in a pool with one fish for a prize can be a little humbling.

The out house guys decide to throw a BBQ and invite DeAnna. Robert wasn't real happy when the guys gave him a chefs hat and apron then sat him at the "kiddie" table. After throwing a chair (is he related to Bobby Knight?) he rips off the hat and storms off saying he can't do this. Can't do what? Take a joke? I hope you are taking notes DeAnna. The guys were all hanging out with each other and no one was really paying any attention to DeAnna so she goes in to talk to Robert who is still sulking. The combination of no attention and Robert whining gets DeAnna mad enough to go off on the group telling them she knows what they are going through and storms off.

The two on one date (sounds like a wrestling term, doesn't it?) pits the two average guys against each other. I'm not sure what to say about these two. Average doesn't quite cut it, I wanted to say teddy bears but sure about that either. They are just Fred and Robert. How about average nice guys? Robert doesn't waste any time and gets DeAnna alone and asks if he can kiss her. She says yes, but on the cheek. Does that just scream you're going home? He looked like a 70's reject sitting there with his shirt unbuttoned showing his baby chest that matches his baby face and personality.

Fred gets his alone time and tells her he is just as happy to be sitting and talking. I swear I have seen him in Chicago. Maybe he has a commercial for a law firm or something. The out house boys are sitting around the camp fire betting that Robert will be going home. They were right! Back at the dinner table, DeAnna sends Robert home. He starts crying in the limo saying he is destroyed. Light weight! You're a guy, suck it up and move on. How in love can you be with this girl?! Meanwhile, Fred is back at the table letting out a big sigh of relief and smiling now that he has the rose all sewn up. Twist! DeAnna sends Fred packing too! At least he took it like a man and wished DeAnna to be happy. What a nice guy (average) guy!

DeAnna gets back to the mansion and it's Jason to the rescue asking her if she wants to talk about it. He takes advantage of her vulnerability and moves in for a lip lock.

At the cocktail party, Jeremy takes DeAnna away first thing. Hunky Brian finally gets his chance and tells DeAnna that he only wants to marry once. Graham gets some face time and tells DeAnna he is there for her and she finally gets her kiss. They all hit the pool and we get to see Brian sans shirt with his muscles to next week. Yummo! I thought sure they would do the rose ceremony in the hot tub but party pooper Chris had to break up that party and told everyone to get out and get dressed. Darn! In the end, DeAnna sends home our hunk-a-hunk Brian :( I still can't believe she kept Twit Twilly over Brian and will someone please tell me what she sees in Graham? Double D