Hell's Kitchen-Battle of the Final Four

Let's do the Single D's analysis of the final four: Petrozza, the only man left standing. His chances are slim. If he were an animal he would be a rather large domestic hog not only in physical resemblance but in habits (although I heard swine are actually very neat, who said that?). His work stations looks like a herd of stampeding pork running amok. Jen the line chef would be executive chef, who is she auditioning for the Devil? Let's see, cold, calculating, heartless, non-team player, yeah, I would want her cooking in my kitchen. Did I mention heartless? I think her cornrows have been twisted too tight making her lose all sense of reality. Hey Jen, there are other cooks in the kitchen! Ok, she does know how to cook, but if she continually alienates people who is she going to cook for? Corey, a perplexing blend of bitchiness and low self esteem, a squishy lanky blond wrapped up in a chef coat straight jacket. She took a quick early lead and then started to second guess herself and offering herself up as a sacrificial lamb. Hey Corey, get a grip, focus, stop waffling and piss off! Do I sound like Gordon Ramsay? Christina, winner of the most challenges. Doe eyed, lispy sounding, how old is she, 7? Recent culinary grad, greatest potential but cries at the drop of a chef hat. I don't think she has the sass to command a kitchen and no one that young should make more money than me! She needs to wipe her nose, pay her dues and then maybe. Best bet to win, Corey. I think Chef Ramsay is trying to show his softer side by telling the chefs that this is the mother of all challenges. They will have one hour to cook up a lunch dish for 80 people. Christina makes an island chicken sandwich, Cory a salmon BLT, Petrozza a Monte Cristo (love those, hey anything deep fried!) and Jen with a grilled grouper. Immediately Corey falls behind and barely manages to get her food out when chef announces the arrival of the guests, 80 pregnant women. Ha ha Chef, mother of all challenges, who writes this stuff? The winner, Christina by two votes over Petrozza and earns her a $1,000 shopping trip to Beverly Hills! Whoo-hoo! Love it, but does Chef have to go? He acts like the doting father over Christina while she tries on outfit after outfit. Ah, Christina, you better start exercising, I can see all that taste testing is going to your hips! When Christina comes back, everyone is jealous and won't give her the time of day as she ask what can she do to get ready for the dinner service. Well, you can take those precious clothes you bought and put them down the garbage disposal! Come on people, grow up and Christina grow a set! Finally, Petrozza and Corey relent and start talking to her, while Jen is still fuming, I shoulda went shopping that girl's not no taste, like you have a figure, I'm thinking stock pot here! During the dinner service, Chef burns his hand not once but twice on pots that Christina gives him, while Jen is secretly enjoying her misery as her horns poke out even further. Corey asks Jen to help out with the eggs which Jen chooses to ignore. Hey JEN, anyone home? I would have taken the largest sauce pan and knocked her over the head with it, someone needs to bash in those horns! Dinner service ends with Chef saying that this was the best service ever, but someone has to be eliminated. Back in the dorm, Corey suggest that they each write two names down, but not the same two names. Read my lips here, not the same two names. When they tally the votes, Jen writes Christina's name twice. Jen's playing by her own rules I guess, either that or she doesn't know how to count. Chef ask which two for elimination-Christina lispiably says, Jen and Corey (there's that sacrificial lamb thing again). Jen because she has no sense of team playing, there is an I in team for Jen and Corey, because she is not living up to what is expected. For one split second, Christina (and I) thought Chef was going to have an Alzheimer moment and get rid of Corey, but he managed to snap back and remember that Jen is the nightmare from Elm street and sent Jen packing. Sorry Jen, if you would have just a little more soul and a lot more heart you might have made it to that top level, instead, you insisted on listening to that devil on your shoulder. Get an attitude adjustment and piss off!-Single D