American Idol-Atlanta

Well, we finally get to see Ryan Seacrest's mom and dad-very nice-they must live somewhere near Atlanta, home of idols fame, Clay Akin and Jennifer Hudson. Ryan's parents reminded me of some political candidate couple all nicely polished and dressed for a speech. With this stop over in Atlanta, a couple of audition nods-to Asia, who made Paula cry (again)! I'm wondering was she crying because she was moved to tears, or because she hadn't had a drink since the previous night? Asia's sad story did make me more sympathic towards her even before she started singing-her dad passing away two days before this audition from a car crash. She sang in breathy tones, her voice barely above a whisper, choked and hoarse. She was passed through although if that is truely her voice, she won't last the season. Let's hope she regains her voice in Hollywood.

Then there was Josh, lover of glass, creator of glass circles and Idol hopeful, so much so, that he would throw away his beloved glass cutter if he makes it big. However, when he sang, he looked like one of those kewpie dolls that one squeezes in the middle and the eyes bug out. And his singing-aw come on guys-are you hearing what I'm hearing? I thought he was terrible, buggie eyes and all. He was so repulsive when he sang that Simon asked him to turn around to sing, so we had an audition from the derriere, you know the back of his front. How is he going to control those eyes, let alone his voice?

Next, Miss South Florida Fair, Brooke, who kissed a pig (what no frogs?) and milked a cow, said "do do" on TV, and wanted to show Simon that even a pageant winner could sing. Yikes! Should she really announce she's a pageant winner from a country fair? I think Simon had it right when he said that she was really annoying! Unfortunately, she'll probably end up the next Britney Spears or something! And finally, to the boy who lives in a shoe, I mean car. What's a matter with you? You left home and now you live in your car? You might be a free spirit, but obviously you miss your home. Well, I'm glad you are going to Hollywood, now you'll get to sleep in a real bed, watch TV and eat hot meals, like every teen your age is doing. And hey what's up with that fake British accent when you sing-do you have the same disorder as Britney, except, her's is more cockney? I think Simon gave you a pass because any British accent gives him the warm feeling of being near Big Ben. Come on Simon, who do you think you are, Henry Higgins? -Single D

OK, first up was JP who sounded like he was singing hillbilly rap. I'm not a big country fan and he was supposedly singing Rascal Flats, is that somewhere in Tennessee? Next was tear jerker Asia who's father passed away as she was enroute to her audition. Simon had a tender moment for her as Paula was reduced to tears and had to leave the stage (most likely to get a shot of vodka, I mean courage, or is that the same thing?). Then there was Miss South Ditzy, Florida Fair. This is one girl that gives us blondes a bad name! She wasn't a bad singer but, I think Randy & Simon just wanted to see her jump up and down in her tube top (see Single D's photo above). When she was done and voted through, it was a regular love fest with Miss Ditz leading the way. I really was expecting the flowers and Kum-by-ya to start at any moment.

The montage of losers was a good one, or bad depending on how you look at it, entertaining either way. And what was up with the dude with the spinner around his neck? Was he trying to be Flav-a-Flave with a hub cap? Then there was the guy in the leather skirt and Tweety Bird voice. It never ceases to amaze me, the number of people who think they can sing.

Eva and her crush on Simon was pretty memorable. "I love you Simon", "I know" came the reply. Eva started her audition and promptly slipped on her number which had fallen off of her and fell on her rear. The directors thought that deserved a slow-mo replay. Oh yea, she couldn't sing worth a darn either which prompted Simon to ask "is this a serious audition?" To which Eva responded "yes, I love you Simon, I didn't mean to fall." Simon, who really thought this was a joke, asked her to look him in the eye and tell him it was a serious audition. She did and still professed her love for him time and time again. Run Simon, run! The poor woman actually thought she had lost the audition because she fell down. No, sweety it's because you can't sing or dance! She did, however, get a hug from Simon, who I think is really just a big softy!

At the end were two memorable people. My fave, the Rock and Roll nurse. She rides a hog, she keeps it real and she can belt out a tune. You go girl! And last but certainly not least was Josiah, not sure of the spelling, but I think he has a split personality. One second he is from Tennessee and the next he is channeling John Lennon. Let's hope his car/house makes it to Hollywood. Double D