Big Brother-Season 9-Uncut & Uncensored

When the houseguest saw their pictures on the memory wall, who do you think said that her booty looks cuter than her face and what guy said he's a handsome man? You guessed it, Amanda and Matt. Amanda is obsessed with her butt. Jen created quite the controversy when she said that her picture was first because she was going to win. Jeez, you'd think she said throw your first borns under the bus the way everyone was acting. I was like, what did she say that offended everyone, but of course I don't have tivo so I couldn't do an instant replay. After that small crisis was over, we find Amanda telling us the story of how her father died. So sad and maybe I'll excuse her obsession.

Allison is still grumbling about Ryan being attached to Jen. She was hoping there would be a fire between her and Ryan. She totally reminds me of Frances McDormand (Fargo) except without the Minn. accent. Because Allison is such a loose cannon, Parker suggest that they should make a preemptive strike and tell everyone that Jen and Ryan are a couple, mistake number three. If you've forgotten let me refresh your memory; mistake number one was Jen telling Parker that she was with Ryan and mistake number two was when Ryan told Allison he was with Jen. Now they want to make mistake number three, tell everyone! Jen and Ryan start packing those bags! So when they tell everyone in the house their secret, it was not warmly received, ya think? And Allison acted like the damsel in distress, poor me, look what they made me do, keep their wretched secret! The HOH couple then calls a pow-wow to swear on the Bible that there were no more couples in the house. Oh please, do we trust any of these people? It seems that once inside the Big Brother house, all sense of rationale, saneness and decorum flies out the window, check your honesty at the door!

As an aside, this has nothing to do with the drama unfolding, word gets out that Adam is also known as the "hooded warrior"-icky!! It is here I run screaming into the other room! TMI! TMI! It was really funny when Shelia said that not only does she get stuck with the strangest one, but also gets the one that is not, you know what...! Poor Sheila, she got the prize! Anyway, when Allison asked Jen why they told everyone, Jen practically jumped down Allison's throat saying that you were going to tell everyone anyway! So there, take them apples! I thought Jen's reactions was alittle pitbullish-down girl! She really has control issues, and I loved it when she said that if it's between her or Ryan going home, it better be Ryan-what a gal!

I didn't quite understand the lesbo story concoted by Sheila and Allison, which also blossomed into we also have a son! What was that for, more drama? It was no surpise when the HOH couple put up Ryan and Jen-just too bad for their passengers, Parker, not so much Allison. Oh well, there's the veto and the thought that anything could happen in the Big Brother house. -Single D

Jen put a huge target on her back after telling everyone her picture is first because she's going to win. Can't anyone take a joke? Then we switch over to Allison trashing Jen to Ryan. Allison, that is his girlfriend did you think he was going to say yes you're right she's terrible and you're the one for me? Cue romantic music and a sunset. She needs a visit from the reality fairy!

Then we have Amanda laying some heavy duty personal stuff on everyone. I feel bad about her dad and all, but that just doesn't seem like something to bring up to people you have only known for about 12 hours. With all that drama going on, somehow it comes out that Adam is "uncut". That just has a dirty ring to it, uncut, kind of like unclean or something. Word spreads like wildfire and Jen decides she wants to see it since she has never seen a "hooded warrior" before (their words, not mine). Apparently Adam obliges Jen so now she has seen one. Now there's something to write home about!

While Allison continues her rampage against Jen, we see Matt, Alex, Amanda & Natalie form an alliance. That is exactly what Jen, Parker, Ryan & Allison should have done, big dummies. But no, Jen decides to one up Allison and get the secret out before she could do it. Of course, Allison plays all innocent saying she would never have told anyone, like we believe that! So now you know Jen & Ryan will be picked off one after the other.

Shiela finds a friend in Allison. They can both play their poor me cards with each other, lord knows no one else is listening. During one of their b!tch sessions, Shiela says she is going gay and they come up with a story that they are lesbian lovers. Watch it ladies, you already swore on the Bible that there were no more couples in the house! Their lesbo story distracts them for awhile but it's not long before Shiela is outside complaining about Adam to Parker. While that is going on, we see pretty boy Matt in the background not so gracefully fall out of the hammock. Shiela keeps right on complaining to a shell shocked looking Parker only giving Matt a quick glance. Adam, who has been minding his own business, starts getting yelled at by Shiela. When he stands up for himself, they get into it sending Shiela running into the house and throwing herself on the bed to cry her eyes out.

Surprise, surprise, Amanda & Alex nominate Jen & Parker and Ryan & Allison for eviction. We'll see what happens next time. Maybe Matt will figure out that hammock by then! Double D